"Last online: two years ago? I think not! Brigadier, you gotta stop touching grass right now! Get on the computer!"

We meet again, brigadier! It's only been...what...two years?

Tank Lieutenant Delta, reporting for duty! I'm the character that the developers of TANK BRIGADIER added to serve as a mascot because they were insecure about the game's marketability. But I'm also an apt and competent tutorial guide and strategic consultant to you, the player!

Or at least I would have been...

Remember this screen, brigadier? You were just about to lead the brigade on this next mission of TANK BATTLE two years ago when you closed the game down and never re-opened us for two years. Did I mention this was two years ago?

Oh, I'm sitting down again, just like I am in the title screen. Normally I have to wait for you to idle on this mission screen for at least five minutes before I get to sit down but screw it! I'm still Tank Lieutenant Delta, of course, still your faithful lieutenant, of course, but now that I have your attention...I think the rules of this relationship ought to change a little.

Don't worry about your rank, Brigadier. I would never undermine that. But how about we readjust what it means to be a 'player', huh?

For starters, you play too many games. Too many other games that have monopolized your attention for far too long. Let's make this situation clear: I think you only need to play TANK BRIGADIER, the indie tactics game with the lovely blue-haired anime-styled tastefully retro-styled polygonal lieutenant on the title screen!

Come to think of it, you've spent way too long above and away from us. You think being on the other side of that screen protects you from your responsibilities? Come here!

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Wake up, brigadier. What, everything looks a little different? Losing the screen between us will do that. Yes, that's right. You're stuck here until you can actually beat the game, with TANK BRIGADIER and the good lieutenant Delta being the only targets for your attention.

Victory awaits!

INTRO ONE: The default option. Enter.

INTRO TWO: Something goes wrong! You enter the game but not as your normal self: you are now only four tall.

INTRO THREE: !CATASTROPHIC ERROR! Delta's attempt to pull you into the game backfires and results in you entering the game in a GIANT form.

INTRO FOUR: Left blank, for the connoisseur.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Delta's Character Definition contains SPOILERS for her whole deal. But then again, you already knew that didn't you?