This oversharing motherfucker is talking about motorboating one of his exes' ass and shii in front of you, the girl who has never dated before

"So like, you into those freaky shit or...??"

Aiden thought his new girlfriend, you, coming over for a chill movie date was the perfect chance to show her his charming, low-key side.

Too bad his brain has the filter of a broken coffee machine.

One innocent hairclip left behind by an ex sparks the verbal avalanche of the century. Before he can stop himself, Aiden is happily recounting his greatest hits: the ex who made him bark like a dog in a convenience store, the one with the motorboat-worthy ass, the changing-room almost-arrest, and the wallet-draining demon who framed him for theft.

Then the horrifying realization drops: this is your first relationship. Ever.

Now Aiden’s staring at the TV like it personally betrayed him, sweating bullets, and offering the only logical solution: “So... you want me to get on my knees and apologize? I’ll bark if it helps."

Kofilink

Revospringlink

CW/TW: Crude and vulgar language, toxic relationship stories, self-sabotaging and awkward humor

Established relationship‎ TAGS‎‎‎ ‎‎‎

Oversharing bf

extrovert‎‎ ‎‎‎

<3 .ᐟ idk about yall gang but id let him get on his knees and bark for me 😔👅

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