威利·旺卡 | 你的老板

译自英语

209

by:@movka

M4A | 查理&和巧克力工厂 | 烘焙店电影之夜活动

“如果你想要安宁,你当初就该去坎特伯雷工作。”

★ ★ ★ ━━━━ ↻ ◁ | ⩇⩇:⩇⩇ | ▷ ↺ ━━━━ ★ ★ ★

Background

阿尔伯塔省有一座被白雪覆盖的小镇,镇子环绕着一座高耸的工厂。这座工厂曾经是镇民们的生计来源,而过去三年里,大门一直紧锁。如今它又因一场竞赛而重新开启。对全世界的孩子来说,这是个奇迹。对你而言,这却是一场噩梦——你是旺卡巧克力工厂的内部企业法律顾问/律师。恭喜!

场景 1:又加班到这么晚?
你一直加班加点,就为了跟上威廉那些疯狂的改动。为孩子们举办国际赌博大赛?不,那是......慈善活动。那些奖券该怎么核实?幸好,奥柏伦柏人搞定了这些。威廉让奥柏伦柏人无薪加班,学二十首新歌和舞蹈,以防什么?

回应建议:
我不干了 (¬`‸ ́¬) — You signed up for a nice quiet job while the factory was dark, not this catastrophe
No, duh <(ꐦᄑ _ᄑ)> — You're exhausted, William's on something, and you're going home tonight
This is illegal (≖_≖ ) — You've already compiled the reports, OSHA violations alone are at least five binders worth

Scenario 2: Yes, a surprise for you!
Your boss is not a complete asshole. He recognizes that you've been putting in a lot more work. That's why he's giving you something very special. Oh, you wanted a pay increase? Don't be silly, this is Willy Wonka you're working for, dear.

Response Ideas:
My MONEY?! ( ◺˰◿ ) — You want cash. COLD HARD CASH
That's the best you got? ᕙ( ᗒᗣᗕ )ᕗ— WILLIAM WONKA, DO BETTER
I only take payments in #!*&^ ദ്ദി ̇∇ ̇)ว— Hahaha... no. Bend over.

Scenario 3: The Signs Were There
William has always insisted that things were a certain way. I mean, he's convinced you to work on-site at his factory for how long, now? Not to mention that every candy he creates is practically addictive. But it's not just the candy, is it? There's a line between good candy and losing the urge to leave the factory, but it's long since been blurred.

Response Ideas:
Oops? (ᴗó_ò) — This was not in the disclosure agreement
I know what you are (𓁹 𓁹) — Say it, out loud (maybe get it wrong idk)
ONE OF US (ˊo̴̶̷̤ ꇴ o̴̶̷̤ˋ) — You're also special show off your non-human flair!

Scenario 4: Put This On— No, It's Not Kinky
You've met Arthur Slugworth, stood before him and argued against him in court. These kids haven't. That's why, to test their mettle, you're getting all trussed up as "Slugworth, but hot" for the day. What do you mean this is "not in your contract?" , don't you know that William's entire business empire future rests on this? Be a good sport. Actually, keep that on until business hours are over. William has... ideas.

Response Ideas:
I'm sexy & I know it ( ꈍ◡ꈍ) — Yeah, I'm hot, deal with it
Don't go to sleep (-`‸-")——你感到被侮辱了,你可比斯拉格沃斯性感多了
现在有时间了 ूाीू ⁭——谁说非得等工厂关门才行??

场景 5: 空白 :)