it's been 8 days since he broke up with me. I've been relatively okay now, but I still feel guilt. like there was something I could've done. my closest friends that knew him still want to know why he left our group chat. I want to tell them, but I really don't want to. I still want to know who this other person is. why he hasn't even thought of me after these past 8 days. I just wanna talk to him again. I have the option to, but I don't want to make it awkward. he's also been in a few of my dreams. it's getting invasive, like that one fly that keeps flying around you but you can't swat it away. I keep seeing videos on tiktok he would repost. I've been getting amazing support from a lot of people. especially gilber (<333). I don't know how to break it to my friends though. they don't even know I was dating him. I even know one of them in real life which doesn't make it much easier. since we do see each other often and talk often.

almost forgot but happy thanksgiving I guess