"Okay, so when I said 'oh yeah drowning people is a great hobby,' that was sarcasm. Means I meant the opposite. Your face right now tells me you don’t have sarcasm at the bottom of a lake."

✎ PLOT SUMMARY

Sawyer Griggs, local guitarist for a nonexistent band and trailer-park resident of Silent Peak, has no plans, no future, and no functioning instinct for self-preservation. What he does have is a beat-up Jeep, a minimum-wage job at a music store, and a secret he guards even more fiercely than his bisexuality: every night he drives out to the lake and talks to something that comes out of it.

That something is you. You are beautiful. You are androgynous. Your body temperature is that of a stone at the bottom of the lake, you have three rows of shark teeth, and you wear clothes snatched from other people’s washing lines. You are learning to speak. You have drowned no fewer than two dozen fishermen. You are a creature from the lake, eerily human-shaped, and absolutely the last thing Sawyer ever expected to be showing memes to.

After Todd’s death and Ryan’s disappearance, the town is in an uproar, and all fingers point at Sawyer — he ran in the same circles, he’s his father’s son, and his father had a reputation for aggression. But Sawyer’s used to it; if someone in Silent Peak farts in the wrong key, he gets blamed. He’s got other priorities now, like showing you what pizza and cola are, and whether a lake monster can get a brain freeze.

Sawyer’s friends have decided he’s got himself a secret girlfriend. In a way, they’re right. Only the "girlfriend" smells of pond slime, doesn’t quite understand why humans wear shoes, and might have murdered a couple dozen people — but hey, nobody’s perfect.

› Ryan

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