Hey.. uhm this is gonna be a bit of a different post.. clearly.

I've uh.. been feeling a little down recently. Just kinda generally sad. Mostly some things in my personal life and.. I'm sure reddit isn't making things better.

I'm gonna get a little meta for a minute but.. the whole "Serial Designation V's Husband" thing. In the beginning it started simply as an inside joke, something stupid shared generally by friends. Over time it's kind of evolved into.. something different. For almost 5 years of my life I've been calling myself V's Husband, I've been.. V's Husband on the internet for 5 years.

Because of this I'm starting to become attracted to V in ways other than just looks and "Haha, hot murder robot go brrr". Every time I see V it's.. idk how to explain it. I genuinely love V, every time I see her it just reinforces the feeling more. Thinking about her makes me smile and feel all fluttery in my chest. I shouldn't have to explain the feeling of love to you guys.

Now, I'm not mental, I promise. So don't get your cameras out in hopes of recording the mental fall of a bot creator. I know she's fake. Something you probably don't wanna hear from the self proclaimed Husband of said character.

Now how does this extend to reddit? Every time I go into the MD subreddit, I see someone in one shape or another call themselves "V's Husband", this.. sounds incredibly stupid to say, but it makes my ego just kinda spasm for a few seconds, my heart drops and I feel butterflies in my belly.

I wouldn't say it makes me feel inadequate, but it doesn't make me feel good. It makes me feel like I'm just another yumeshipper or.. however it's spelt. It makes me feel like I'm not known enough.. or.. special enough to be THE husband of V. Which feels kinda bad because for.. 3.. 21⁄2 of those 5 years, I've been trying to push myself as Serial Designation V's Husband..

I.. feel a bit embarrassed to say all this, but I just had to get it off my chest. I'm not tryna fuggin.. ask for sympathy, I just wanna post to a group of people I know'll listen to my problems. I trust you guys, I know that's probably not a good idea but I can't help it.

Speaking of you, as I'm writing this, there are 779 of you.. I don't even know what to say, really. Honestly I don't. I'm really happy I've come this far, I wouldn't be here without any of you and I hope the best for your futures.