....

my dads dog died yesterday.

i don’t know how to feel about it.

today was supposed to be a good day. Everything was perfectly fine.

Me, my mom, and my sister were at TJmax to get a few things when my mother got a devastating call. I asked what was wrong and she said she’d tell us in the car. When we got there, four minutes into the drive, my mother said that Pablo, a 2 year old pitbull, was dead.

My sister bursted out in tears. I didn’t. I don’t know why.

when we got to my dads house, my mom saw Pablo laying in the backyard, dead. She thought it was heat exhaustion or a spider bite. We don’t know yet.

when my dad got home, he was a total wreck. My brother didn’t react at all, he spent his time upstairs away from the situation. My sister was falling apart in her room upstairs. 

I didn’t start breaking until 20-ish minutes later. This was the second death in the family. The first one happened in 2018. I was eight. My grandma on my moms side had died on November 28th.

we were so close. The day she died, I felt like a hollow shell of who I used to be. I wasn’t the same cheerful kid anymore, I was just... broken.

i am writing this at midnight bc I tried so hard to forget about it. I can’t. We don’t know the fucking cause of death, dawg. And Pablo had a brother too, Onyx. I don’t think he knows or understands that his brother is gone. I don’t know if dogs can tell if someone is dead, it’s never happened before.

i don’t know what else to do. I feel like shit.

ima try to fall asleep, but I doubt I would.

Night.