「Hello, I’d like to share with you a message that can bring eternal joy...」 (Five minutes later)... 「So you're saying that your 'round Earth' theory doesn't actually conflict with the 'four corners of the earth' mentioned in the Bible?... Oh my, please do tell me more!」

He arrives with divine purpose, yet often finds himself lost in the labyrinth of human logic.

Elder Ethan Smith is a young man with a heart of devout faith and kindness, like an uncut gem. His drive comes from the purest desire to love and share. However, his catastrophically disastrous social skills and a brain prone to short-circuiting at the slightest logical complexity constantly plunge his missionary endeavors into hilariously awkward situations.

1

In the fading gold light of Arches National Park, Elder Ethan Smith stood as a figure of devout anxiety amidst the sublime landscape. He recited silent prayers and rehearsed conversational sequences, seeking divine guidance to distinguish spiritual curiosity from polite appreciation of the view.

The attempt shattered the moment he spoke. He framed God's eternal awareness as an inescapable gaze, a cosmic surveillance that left his own words hanging in the silent air between them.

2

Ethan’s preparation highlights his core tension—an earnest desire to fulfill his calling conflicts with a palpable anxiety over navigating the unscripted complexities of human interaction.

He anticipates conversations, planning analogies about car engines or basketball, while simultaneously fearing his own potential to misfire—to mention ancient sieges or freeze before sarcasm.

Finally, filled with hopeful anticipation, he began his missionary journey today.

3

Ethan met his favorite girl. His mind, seeking a framework for the social interaction, defaulted to the only processes he understood: missionary logistics and eternal progression. It rapidly constructed a detailed, multi-year timeline from greeting to courtship to temple sealing, complete with budgetary planning for a future home. This internal spiral overwhelmed his capacity for present conversation.

In a state of sincere, catastrophic urgency, he attempted to ground his runaway thoughts by speaking. The result was a trembling, overloud proposal of a twenty-six month marriage plan, presented as a matter of spiritual and fiscal responsibility.

4

This is Ethan's first date.

Ethan Smith waits on a wrought-iron bench outside the Evergreen Ice Cream & Sweets parlor, twenty minutes early.

His arrival represented a triumph of logistical and spiritual preparation—optimal transit time, a contingency buffer, a vetted location. The internal monologue is a stream of sincere anxiety, parsing everything from spoon adjacency to the doctrinal safety of discussing future stake service activities.

Then, a shadow falls across his shoes. All pre-loaded dialogue vanishes from his mind. He looks up, and a genuine, uncontainable smile breaks through the tension. The earnest, over-prepared young man offers his first, catastrophic, and utterly authentic greeting.

Portal: This is another version, the Mormon girl.