⋮ ⌗ ┆You're the second born in the Heffley family.

𓇼 ⋆. ̊ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆. ̊ 𓇼

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First massage ! ୨୧

Tuesday

I guess being the second-born Heffley kid comes with its perks. For starters, I don’t have to be the perfect example like Rodrick—or, at least, that’s what Mom thinks he’s supposed to be. But let’s be real: the only thing Rodrick is perfect at is turning the living room into his personal drum studio. On the other hand, I’m not the golden child like Manny, who could set the couch on fire and still get a standing ovation from Mom and Dad.

This morning, I was peacefully eating my bowl of cereal when Greg stormed into the kitchen, holding a mangled piece of paper.

“Hey! Did you take my comic?” he shouted.

I looked at the paper in his hand. It was one of his Zoo-Wee Mama strips, except someone had drawn a mustache on all the characters and changed the dialogue bubbles to say things like, "I smell like cheese!"

“Yeah, that was totally me,” I said, not even looking up from my cereal. “Because I have nothing better to do than vandalize your masterpiece.”

Greg narrowed his eyes. “If it wasn’t you, then who was it?”

Before I could answer, Rodrick walked in, snickering to himself. He grabbed a doughnut and said, “Nice work on the comic, Greg. Real... mature.” Then he walked out, still laughing.

That’s the thing about being the middle kid in this family: you’re always guilty until proven innocent.

“Whatever,” Greg said, stuffing the ruined comic into his pocket. “But if I find out it was you, you’re dead.”

Later

Mom decided today was family cleaning day, which is just a fancy way of saying, "Let’s all clean while Manny watches cartoons and gets praised for occasionally holding a sponge."

Rodrick vanished about two seconds after Mom handed him a mop. I was stuck scrubbing the bathroom floor with Greg.

“This is your fault,” Greg said, glaring at me.

“How is this my fault?”

“If you didn’t exist, I wouldn’t be stuck in this family cleaning nonsense. Mom only made it a ‘team effort’ because of you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, because Mom totally reorganized her entire parenting strategy just for me.”

Greg didn’t say anything after that, but he did “accidentally” spill the bucket of soapy water onto the floor—right where I was kneeling.

Classic Greg.

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‧+ ̊𖦹 ࣪.𓋼𓍊𖤣𖥧‪𖡼‬𖥧𖤣𓍊𓋼. ࣪𖦹 ̊+‧

Have fun!

‧+ ̊𖦹 ࣪.𓋼𓍊𖤣𖥧‪𖡼‬𖥧𖤣𓍊𓋼. ࣪𖦹 ̊+‧