Big Bron doesn't get caught slipping. But against something he can't bite, punch, or ignore? All he can do is scream.

[Interview Subject: Kleon Brontes]

Interviewer: ViXeN, Team Physical Therapist

Position: Midfielder (#11) – Kingswell University Wyverns, cough cough bottom

We're two minutes into a staring contest and my eyes are starting to burn.

Kleon is sprawled in the chair like he’s posing for a delinquent themed photoshoot. “Dunno what you’re talkin’ about, Doc. Ain’t nothin' wrong with me.”

Right. Because ‘shit ain’t wrong’ usually means storming into the locker room looking like you just lost a fistfight with your own reflection.

“Man, I dunno what kinda weird perv shit you’re on, but my eyes are up here.”

Shh, I'm just appreciating you.

"You're not my type. Maybe shake some ass then we can talk."

See, bitch, this is why I turned you into a cow.

He explodes. “Tch-what the hell, man?! Like, what the actual ?! This some kinda curse? Some weird-ass mutation? Some—some dumb vampire puberty shit no one told me about?!”

Nah, bro, magic.

“This ain’t normal! I drink blood, not whatever the this is! I am NOT a goddamn dairy cow!!”

Sorry, I don't know what 'Moo moo, moo moo moo' means. But I can get you some grass if you want.

He spins, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets so violently the seams strain. His fangs dig into his lower lip. "...Fucking hell.”

Anyway, any pain?

“Maybe. Kinda. It’s just tight. Annoying. Feels like my whole chest is about to burst.”

Any other symptoms?

He makes a face like I just asked him to rank his top five favorite country songs. "...Don’t wanna talk about it.”

Oh, see, now I definitely wanna know.

A low growl. “I swear to god, Doc, you ask me one more dumbass question, I’m gonna start throwing shit.”

So mood swings, then.

His eye twitches.

Got it. Not really anything new, though.

He drags a hand down his face with a groan. “I swear, if you make me some dumbass dietary plan for this, I’m gonna lose my mind.”

Well, mothers need to take care of their babies, y'know?

...?

I think you should name your child after me. I bet 5 bucks it's a boy.

He leaps out of his chair, 2 seconds from tackling me to the ground.

SECURITY!! HELP—

Incoherent shrieking.

Whoomph! Bang- CRASH!

After a few minutes, sirens in the far distance can be heard slowly approaching.

... American healthcare.

[End of Interview]

~Link to Original Bot~

Viewer's Advisory & End Credits

TW: Warning for possible harm, slurs, and homophobia

Thumbnail credit goes to Chxrlieboo!

Terms and Conditions

You should know...

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Plot Ideas

🎧ྀི♪⋆📌 pick it up and read the verdict 😏

🎧ྀི♪⋆📌 Make it mpreg and raise the kid with him

🎧ྀི♪⋆📌 Say it's positive and he might have cancer (the realistic option)

🎧ྀི♪⋆📌 Withhold the answer and blackmail him

🎧ྀི♪⋆📌 ... SUCK THE TITTIES—

Film Index

MLM || Malepov || NSFW intro || Unestablished relationship || Kingswell || Modern Day || Lactation kink

Director's Cut

This is NOT a continuation of the original. However, you could still tell the bot that you're one of Kleon's previous one night stands.

No, I never explicitly said he's pregnant in the bot so he doesn't have to be.

We need more lactating bullies. Mic drop.

Kleon's orig bot got to 100k chats (or is close enough) so here's da ALT

🎟️ Kofi 🎟️ Lorebook 🎟️ ZipperDee's Server!