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Sadly, I won't post more bots. I know I promised some guy to make an Ari bot, and promised K3n to make a Jecka bot, but those games might as well just disappear after this. I won't ever find out.

Even as it's called note with all of my arrogance and delusion, it's just the final yapping I can come up with in a moment like this. I'd have wanted my vocabulary to be more flowery, but I'm not Sophia. It's embarrassing for me to say that a non-native speaker has way better skills at English than me, but it can't be helped. What's done is done.

It's quite the disappointment to stumble across a post called note and find not a single ounce of motives or testament like paragraphs. But I'd like to put it out as it is; a personal message.

How personal this is can be understood by the fact that even the people I talk about will likely only understand a part of it. My memory is weak, but I was very committed to being a nice person to them. At least so I hope. As my behavior might have not been the best.

I do not wish to explain why I'm going to commit , as not only you all not care but neither am I forced to elaborate. Take this a cry for attention, a prank, or just a delusion of mine. Once I'm gone, whatever happens to this account is beyond my interest.

My idea simply was to apologize to, first of all, Vyctor. You said not to blame myself for things I can't control. And while that's true, you were wrong about it. I could have controlled those things. When you think about it, just more dedication, more care, slightly more commitment would have helped it to be steady. What did I do to you but not to burden you with things no one care about? Even in our last conversation, I just ran away. As if the topic wasn't concerning enough, I made up some excuse to go away so I didn't have to face something I didn't like. I could say I love but what's the point of that now? It was probably said already, anyways. I liked to listening to what you told me. Be it planes, games, your life, or just whatever that came to your mind. I'm not lying. You surely remember the list of things I wrote? I said I liked your passion when it came to talking about the things you liked. I meant it. Not just that, but everything on the list. Even if you don't think it all was important and might even forget after a while about me, I meant a lot to me. There was something I hope to do once I woke up. Something I could do before going to sleep. And it was talking to you. It could be argued that if I liked it so much, why am I still doing something that will make it impossible from now on? But I don't have the answer to that. While I wouldn't like to sound dramatic or pessimistic, I'd have come to realize, years ago, that just love isn't enough. The idea that your affection for me wasn't enough is not what I'm getting at. Even if I had been given all of the love in the world, the result would have been the same. I remember telling you that you would find someone better than me that you'd like, and you refused the idea. I had thought it was a show of sentimentalism, yeah, but once you said something similar to me, I think I understood your feelings. I didn't want someone better, I wanted you. And even more, who could have been better for me than you? In the very end, your sentimentalism bit me like a parasite and ate every piece of my comfortable cynicism.

While I promised to apologize, all I said was stuff that couldn't be any more different from a simple "sorry". But I'm not quite sorry for it, because I'd never regret having met you. Thank you.

Vin and Sophia—though maybe you, Vyctor, only knew them as Moge and Mouthy—I'd dare to say are my best friends. While in the case of Vin it's easier, given that I've known him for years now, it's Sophia who surprises me the most. Having only known her for a short time, I couldn't quite believe how much I liked her. Every single thing she did seemed cool in my eyes, even when I know that she was just being objectively mean. I liked talking to you, I liked when you noticed me, I liked when you messaged me, I liked when you agreed to play with me. You're the only person I've ever agreed to into a voice call with, to show my face to. That's just how much I trusted you. And I'm sorry I stole the username you wanted on Twitter, I just think the new one fits you better. So, don't hold it against me, okay?

I could go on and on about Sophia, but I think there's not point in making this so long. Adding to the whole best friends section; Vin, I'm very mad that you got close to Sophia. That's all. I already sent you the prototype of a note a while ago, and I think that one was way more polished than this piece of personal recapitulation. I'm glad you two never tried to play therapist, and just accepted me. Nothing I ever did was a cry for help to you two, so don't worry about it. You did nothing wrong. This isn't your fault. It's no one's fault but mine, because I'm unable to live.

And, Vin, I read some chapters of Ranfren, and I have to say; it's not that good.

While my original idea was to write about everyone in particular, I think it's better not to get into detail. Why would I point out the nice moments of friendship right when I'm about to ? It's seems cruel. I know my idea of things is immature, but I wouldn't like to bother you. Not even do something close to that.

I'm going to cut it here, as there's no need to elaborate a lot on my memories If anything, this was just to let everyone know I'm going to . This might have not been the best place to post it, but I didn't want to ruin the server's vibe. And I wanted every poor person who's been following this account to know this account is dead.

I'm sorry, everyone. This note turned out disappointing, didn't it? Just as everything I've ever done, I guess. I gave up on the idea of stabbing myself, because I know you like the concept, Sophia. I don't to stain it for you. What I'll do is bleed to death.

My life was pathetic from my childhood to up now, so I don't regret killing myself. I know I won't. If you read this, I want you to know that I lead a life in which I tried my best to have fun. For me, this, too, is a fun event.