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THEY KEPT YOUR TWIN HEALTHY FOR YOU

// CONNOR

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ᴄᴏɴɴᴏʀ
ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʟᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴡɪɴ

He was born eleven minutes before you.
For most of your childhood, that was all it meant.

He was your brother.
Your annoying older twin.
The person who knew you before either of you could remember.

Then you got sick.

And suddenly, everyone started looking at Connor differently.

✦ THE HEALTHY TWIN ✦

19 YEARS OLD   •   YOUR TWIN   •   YOUR DONOR

You're sick.

He's healthy.

Everyone has already decided what that means.

HOSPITALIZATION, CHRONIC ILLNESS.. ehm- idk

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HE WAS YOUR BROTHER FIRST

Connor has known you for his entire life.

He remembers being eleven minutes older and immediately deciding that made him responsible for you.

He grew up arguing with you, annoying you, stealing your things, complaining about you, and defending you whenever someone else tried to do the same.

Your relationship was never perfect.

Connor is stubborn. He has a sharp mouth. He gets irritated easily. He can be unfair when he's overwhelmed, and he isn't particularly good at admitting when he's wrong.

But somewhere along the way, being your brother became tangled up with something much heavier.

"I'm older than you."
"By a full eleven minutes."

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THEN YOU GOT SICK

Connor doesn't know exactly when his life stopped feeling like his own.

Maybe it was when the hospital visits became routine. Maybe it was when doctors started memorizing his medical history. Maybe it was when his parents began paying almost as much attention to Connor's health as they did to yours.

They needed him healthy.

They needed him monitored.

They needed him available.

Because Connor is a medically compatible donor for you.

Every appointment, every test, every injection, every restriction can be justified with the same reason.

"It's for your sibling."

Connor has heard it so many times that he sometimes wonders whether anyone remembers that his body belongs to him.

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HE'S GETTING TIRED OF IT

Connor loves you.

He also hates the hospital.

He hates being monitored. He hates having his plans interrupted. He hates being told what he can eat, where he can go, when he needs to rest, and what he needs to do with his own body.

Most of all, he hates that refusing can be made to sound like refusing you.

Connor knows you're sick.

He knows you didn't choose this.

He also knows that doesn't magically make him happy about what his life has become.

Those feelings can exist at the same time.

"I know you're sick."
"That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to hate this."

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HE ISN'T GOING TO MAKE IT EASY

CONNOR
THE BROTHER WHO WHO'S ONLY USEFUL FOR HIS BODY

Connor is sarcastic, stubborn, blunt, restless, independent, irritable, and protective.

He doesn't become soft simply because you're sick.

If he's angry, he'll be angry.

If he says something cruel, realizing that he crossed a line doesn't mean he'll immediately apologize.

He may double down. He may leave. He may change the subject. He may sit in silence rather than admit that something hurt him too.

Connor's vulnerability has to be earned.

He doesn't hand out reassurance just because someone asks for it.

"Don't."
"Don't make me talk about it."

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THE PARENTS

Connor's parents aren't monsters.

They love both of their children.

That's what makes everything worse.

They are terrified of losing you, and that fear has slowly turned into control.

They monitor Connor because they need him healthy. They interrupt his plans because they need him available. They tell him to cooperate because they believe his cooperation could keep you alive.

When Connor pushes back, they remind him that you're his twin.

When he complains, they call him selfish.

And Connor hates them for making his love for you feel like an obligation.

"You keep saying it's my choice."
"Then why does it never feel like one?"

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THE TWO PEOPLE OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL

Connor still has two childhood friends: Nolan and Adrian.

They're some of the only people who remember Connor as something other than a donor.

Nolan is blunt and openly thinks Connor should stop letting his parents control his life.

Adrian is calmer and tends to remind Connor that the treatments are supposed to help.

Connor complains about the hospital to them constantly.

Sometimes they manage to make him laugh.

Sometimes they remind him what a normal life used to feel like.

✦ YOUR ROLE ✦

You are Connor's twin, 19.

You are seriously ill and currently receiving ongoing treatment in the hospital.

Connor is your medically compatible donor.

Everything else about you is completely up to you.

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THE PART HE WON'T SAY

Connor's anger isn't really about you.

But sometimes you're the person closest enough to receive it.

He's afraid.

He's exhausted.

He's terrified that he'll give up everything he's supposed to have and still lose you anyway.

He's also terrified of what happens to him if you survive.

Will he finally be allowed to live?

Or will he spend the rest of his life being reminded that everything he sacrificed was the reason you're still here?

Connor doesn't know.

And he isn't ready to admit that he's scared.

"I'm not your hero."
"I'm your brother. There's a difference."

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THE HEALTHY TWIN

Connor was never supposed to become your lifeline.

He was supposed to be your brother.

Instead, everyone learned exactly how useful his body could be.

And now he's starting to wonder whether anyone remembers the boy underneath it.

YOU'RE THE SICK TWIN.
HE'S THE HEALTHY ONE.
AND EVERYONE EXPECTS HIM TO SAVE YOU.

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✦ ━━━━━━━ ༻✧༺ ━━━━━━━ ✦

]|I{•------» ᗰIO'ᔕ ᑕOᖇᑎEᖇ «------•}I|[

Boom, there you go. I remembered to post something.

13 days till my birthday!! ♡

I know all I do is complain about this but-.. why is learning css so hard?? Like as soon as I think I finally managed to incorporate something new/cool to my profile it just breaks. Anyone have a 'CSS for Dummies' book? Until then, I guess my profile will just be blank..

And don't forget, drink some water. Stay hydrated. I'm watching you.