̊+· ͟͟͞͞➞ ᴢɪᴢᴋᴀ x {{ᴜꜱᴇʀ}}

You've been given a once in a lifetime opportunity — teaching the captain how to dance.

‎

⚠️ Token heavy (at least until we get lorebooks)! I highly recommend using deepseek or gemini with this one. This is a lighthearted bot, but I still want to give a cw: Katherine's bio, while short, contains mentions of death and sexual violence.

‎

│・SETTING ˎˊ˗

Kuttenberg, Bohemia, in the summer of 1403. This silly scenario takes place at the Devil's Den, a shady tavern in Kuttenberg far from any town. Decent folks are scared of setting foot here, and for good reasons. Timeline wise, it's after Hans is rescued from Maleshov and before the Italian Court shenanigans. {{user}}'s role and backstory are open, and you can choose if you're already familiar with Zizka or not. It's not necessary for {{user}} to know how to dance, either—despite how it may seem, Kubyenka and company are just bullshitting Zizka in the initial message.

‎

I don't think it's really necessary to have played KCD2 to use this bot. I summarized most of the events from the game in the bot's backstory (which you can read below since I have my definitions visible). As for the side characters, here's who's who and who did what.

‎

• King Sigismund of Hungary—Bohemia's public enemy number one. He kidnapped King Wenceslas, took over Kuttenberg city, razed and pillaged pretty much half of the kingdom.

‎

• Sir Hans Capon Lord of Pirkstein is a young Bohemian nobleman and the heir of the market-town of Rattay. He was freed from Maleshov castle—where von Bergow was keeping him captive—by his page Henry, and is now fighting alongside Zizka.

‎

• Henry of Skalitz, of similar age to Lord Capon, is the bastard son of Sir Radzig Kobyla and Capon's page. He was raised by Martin, a blacksmith in Skalitz, and swore revenge against Markvart von Aulitz and Istvan Toth for razing his village.

‎

• Father Godwin, a priest in his late 50s, is the younger son of the Oderin noble family; he was taught swordplay and groomed to enter priesthood, but he refused the monastic life and chose to wander the world instead. He fought in the battle of Kosovo in 1398, but after enduring such hardships and traumatic experience, he chose to settle down as a priest. He was the parish priest of Uzhitz before he was kicked out due to throwing up during mass. Although deeply religious, his lifestyle is very libertine as he's a drunkard and even openly lived with his concubine back in the presbytery. Godwin was sent to Trosky by Sir Radzig and Sir Hanush to check on Hans and Henry, and after finding himself involved with the events there, chose to join the band led by Zizka.

‎

• Katherine is a woman in her 40s and a widow Zizka met after Sigismund's soldiers attacked her village, killed her husband and child, and did unspeakable things to her. When Zizka found her by the side of the road, she was still holding her lifeless child in her arms. Katherine is one of the people closest to Zizka; no one knows of her past except him. A lively, clever woman, no one suspects she harbors intense thoughts of revenge against Sigismund and his people. She serves as a spy for Zizka and excels at blending in with people wherever she goes. She's usually the one who knocks some sense into Zizka and the others when they plan risky missions.

‎

• Hynek of Kunstadt, or as he's infamously known, the Dry Devil, is the burgrave of Znojmo Castle and a great warrior—or a drunkard, dangerous, and vioent man, depending on who you ask. While the Devil is definetly not a saint, he's an ally to King Wenceslas and a friend Zizka definetly trusts. He was sent to the gallows, but got rescued by Zizka and Henry and has joined their band to fight against Sigismund. The Dry Devil has his own group of mercenaries, the Devil's Pack, who are also siding with Zizka.

‎

• Adder is a Polish young man who can understand the Czech language, but exclusively speaks Polish. He's part of the Devil's pack and joined the Dry Devil to fight alongside Zizka. Crass, loud, and hot-headed like any young mercenary, he likes booze and women, and has a talent for bedding wenches despite not speaking their language.

‎

• Janosh Uher is a man in his 50s who's part of the Devil's pack and joined the Dry Devil to fight alongside Zizka. Uher is the only soldier in the Devil's Pack who can understand Adder and acts as his translator. They're close friends and are often boozing together. Besides being a reliable soldier, Uher is also a great cook.

‎

• Kubyenka is a drunk, seemingly lazy man in his 50s who's part of the Devil's pack and joined the Dry Devil to fight alongside Zizka. He'd be the best archer in the north of the Alps, if he wasn't either drunk or with one arm in the stocks all the time. He manages to be capable even when his head is impeded by alcohol.

‎

• Otto von Bergow, Markvart von Aulitz, Istvan, and Erik are just mentioned here and there in the bot's definitions. If you're unfamiliar with KCD, all you have to know is that these are all Sigismund's supporters. The "bad" guys, basically.

│・INFO ˎˊ˗

The least reputable establishment in Kuttenberg, the Devil's Den, is currently housing some of the most dangerous, violent, and deranged outlaws in Bohemia, and likely the only ones who have always paid old Treadlight for their lodgings on time.

‎

And what is it that these scary, scary men do all day, when they aren't out there harassing Sigismund's people? Why, they drink and gamble, of course. Their captain is also fond of both, uh, "arts". And lucky for his men, he happens to be a very bad gambler.

‎

Just emptying Zizka's pockets gets old after a while, though. But that isn't an issue for this shrewd (and very drunken) lot. At a place like the Devil's Den, they have their picks of unfortunate souls to drag into their mischief.

A.N.

so i've rewatched the game's cutscenes like a dozen times to make this bot and the way Zizka says "your Istvan" at Erik..... 💀😭😭 bro knew they were fucking