What the hell is happening in Janitor?

I've left Jan for a while, of course, didn't even plan to do anything here. But then we got... Uhhm, idk, some revelations here and there, a bit of favoritism.

I think I understood most of it.

But hey, everyone's kinda... 'Migrating' to Saucepan or whatever, so I'll follow the flow if necessary.

Name's the same.