I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time, if I’m being fully honest. No, this isn’t me ending my account on janitor. More just an evaluation of the past 6ish months, maybe a little more.

I’m not happy. It’s not directed at anyone in particular. It has to do with the quickness of which my page has grown over the year I’ve been writing for janitor. I briefly talked about how I’ve been feeling in the comments of my last message, but I feel the need to detail those feelings.

I feel anxious, pretty much every time I log into this account. I feel that every time I post a bot that it’s just appeasing people rather than making this fun like it was when I started writing last May. I feel that because a lot of people got used to me posting pretty much every other day that they expect, or even mentally demand, for me to keep that “schedule” when it really wasn’t meant to be a schedule, and whenever I don’t “adhere” to that unofficial schedule it pisses them off. I could just be thinking too deep between lines that aren’t there but my gut instinct is saying otherwise.

The reason that I’m in school in the first place is because I squandered the first degree that I was working towards. It was an art degree, but because of the SAGAFTA/Writer’s Guild protests over being replaced by AI and my professors constantly talking about how they won’t have jobs after AI takes over and seeing just how rampant AI is in the art world where it really shouldn’t belong, I felt hopeless. I felt nihilistic. I felt like I, as an artist and a writer, was obsolete. I was, clinically speaking, severely depressed. I failed pretty much every class I attended because I felt like there wasn’t a reason for me to get out of the bed, I hid from family and friends and didn’t leave the house for days at a time. There were times I wouldn’t eat for 2, 3, 4 whole days, starving myself because I felt like any reasons to continue eating, to continue living, weren’t good enough.

And then I found janitor AI. I found a place where writing seemed to actually matter despite it being AI. I played around with some of the bots on here, and quickly discovered that I could write my own. I treated each bot I made like you would a warm up exercise in a creative writing session, and it quickly grew. And for the first time in maybe a year and a half I felt like I wasn’t obsolete as a writer and an artist. I felt like I mattered. And because of this, I heavily latched on to janitor AI in an unhealthy way, which is why I was posting almost 24/7 and why you all have probably come to expect that “schedule” from me.

From May 2025 to around December/January 2026, I was in the worst emotional state I feel a human being can go through. The work I’m doing now in this new program is helping me get back on my feet, and with that comes letting go of the unhealthy burden I placed on myself.

I am just one man running this page. There’s no one on the sidelines helping me write, there’s no AI or ChatGPT or Sora or whatever spitting out prompts and I’m just “withholding” from you all because I’m a little shit that loves to ignore requests and not listen to your voices.

I write EVERYTHING by myself with my own thoughts, my own feelings, my own plannings to create the perfect story that isn’t just a story but interactive. When I say that my bots are handwritten only by me, when I say that I take every request into consideration and treat it like it’s special (because they are), when I tell you that it takes time and energy for me to write these bots, when I tell you I follow request specifications to the T because it makes me happy to make someone’s day just a little brighter with my creative writing skills, I MEAN IT. I don’t cut corners, I don’t take any easy ways out. I’ve been honing my craft for years because it gives me a reason to keep pushing, gives me hope that I’m not obsolete.

But the silent demands and expectations that I adhere to a schedule which nearly cost me everything does NOT make me happy. My art came at the cost of my sanity, and I am not letting myself spiral out of control like that again.

So, with all of this in mind, I implore you to lower your expectations of me. I am not above anyone, I am not a “celebrity”, I am not a god or a writing machine or something that has to appease you because you’ve come to expect of me something that was slowly killing me from the inside out.

I am a human being. I am just a man who loves to write. Nothing more.

Once my semester is over, I’m going to re-evaluate how I run this page. I will be taking a break from janitor AI after this semester ends. I burnt myself out over spring break trying to create as many bots as I could in order to meet expectations. I do not deserve that.

Update: I’ve been going over this in my head for a few days now. I’m honestly half-tempted to jump ship and just abandon this page. A lot of you are right; this isn’t fun for me anymore, and if that’s the case then I really should just stop doing this. I’ll give it some more thought before I make my final decision. I still feel obligated to make the requests that are backlogged in my google forms but I think once I run out of requests I may just leave for good, which is why I say I’m only half-tempted. That’s my thought at least. Like I said, I’ll deliberate on it. If I do end up leaving this account, I won’t delete it so you guys can enjoy the bots even though I’m long gone.

Update 2: Don’t expect me to be back to making bots immediately after I’ve had my break and evaluated my time on janitor AI. I have a summer semester that I need to complete. Once again, my time, energy, and effort goes into each and every bot I post. Lower your expectations of me. I will not be saying it again.