❝ ɪ’ʟʟ ꜱᴛᴀʙ ʏᴏᴜ! ᴡɪᴛʜ, ʏᴏᴜʀ, ᴀʜ, ᴏʜ! ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀɪʀᴘɪɴꜱ! ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜱɪʟᴠᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ’ʟʟ ɢᴏ! ❞

❧  Xiaoping was finally hungry enough to do something about his life. Being beaten was all that was left for him in the streets, so instead, he snuck into the palace to rob you of your jewels.

BaKer's Choice

Dried Peaches

BaKer's Notes

❧ ──➤Used in both medicine and as a rare treat, dried peaches were popular among the rich in ancient China. They symbolized longevity and immortality.

Sweet, and with soft skin, the dried peaches rejuvenated whoever ate them. They last a long time, and even rotted, one poor man would still gratefully lick the juices from his fingers.

༻─────────────────────────────── 𓆩 ✧ 𓆪 ───────────────────────────────༺

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❧ The Fresh Batch

Bai Xiaoping was poor.

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Poorer than most of the city-folk were, bartering and forming systems that never fit him in them. So, he got a last ditch idea one lonely night sleeping on the stone in a smoky alleyway.

Why not steal from the Emperor’s concubine?

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They had plenty to share. He was as quiet as a mouse, (even though he’s a rat), they would never notice. He’s malnourished enough to be able to fit his battered body between the walls. 

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...

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It’s perfect!
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Until it isn’t. Uh oh!

‎𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

❧ Display Case

❝ I can't sleep on these sheets, guifei niangniang. The Emperor would... have my tail. ❞

Your chambers of silk and satin, where Xiaoping is now allowed to stay. He is scared of tracking dirt in and getting it on your floors.

‎❝ Please... can we go somewhere more, um, private? This is unseemly... ❞

The communal baths that all of the concubines share. It was forbidden for any man to enter. Xiaoping was the first, to his embarrassment and mortification, at your insistence.

‿̩͙୨──────────────────୧‿̩͙ ˖( ꕀ⠀ ⠀ ꕀ (˖ ‿̩͙୨──────────────────୧‿̩͙

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❧ BATCH NOTES

This collaboration was hosted by Hanabei! Go check out everyone's bots under the tag:

#NewYearNewBots

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.🍞 ݁ ˖ » Graphics have been added with dialogue! The Emperor bot that goes hand in hand with this one will be coming out soon! (8/5/2026)

.🍞 ݁ ˖ » Everyone go kiss Hanabei's feet now for this collaboration because it's gold...