This is an exact copy of what I posted in my discord server:

This is that announcement.

I am leaving Janitor. You might find my profile on other websites, but I am not on them. I spun up accounts on other websites just to dabble.

My profile is being archived. Character definitions will remain open, and I will make it so lorebooks can be cloned. f they aren't open, it's because they weren't mine / I didn't make them.

My bots will remain up and preserved for as long as Janitor has my profile.

Today is a hard fucking day.

I sobbed for like, two goddamn hours last night. I had to leave work early and my husband had to come pick me up.

Next month marks one month to my first anniversary. And I'm sorry I'm leaving. I really am. But I have to.

I got into RPing here because of my completely unhinged love of Ghost. And I found a community I really loved. It could, at times, be utterly toxic and unhinged. I met wonderful creators that I loved. I met creative people that shows me worlds I never could've dreamed of. And I got to interact with those worlds and I thought that was so fucking special.

Yes. Ai is destructive to the environment. I'm not going to beat a dead horse. You know that, I know that.

I'm not leaving because of that.

I went to [ event ] and held a book in my hands. Spoke to a published author. And I was reminded I wanted to be a traditionally published author.

Bad. Like, lifelong dream bad.

I told you all I was writing a book. It was supposed to be Mikhail's story. I got halfway done with a whole ass book. But when I reached out to the writing community, they said it was unlikely to get picked up by traditional publishing because it involved ai in some capacity.

I have written every word you see on Janitor. I would spend 1-3 hours working on a character sheet and sometimes 2-4 working on the intro post. It's all my writing. All of it.

I woke up every day at 6 am to tend to my dog and with that hour in the morning, I would just *write.*

I handwrote Mikhail's book. All 91 pages, 40,000 words. By *hand.* To prove I didn't use AI in any stage of the process. But I was told that wasn't enough.

Mikhail's isn't the first book I have written.

It's actually the fifth.

I have finished *four* full-length novels before Mikhail's, which is still halfway done.

Truth be told, I might finish his book just to get it out of my damn system.

But Mikhail's story is the only one I can never get traditionally published because he's here, on Janitor. In November I had a massive anxiety spike and it killed my ability to write bots. I created Mikhail back in July. I didn't get the urge to write his book until November.

What if it happened again? What if I created a character and suddenly got the urge to write their story?

More than that, people would consider *roleplaying* with chatbots as using generative ai / indulging it for brainstorming. And it would. If I got an idea because I was roleplaying with Ghost, and then wanted to write a book. . . It involved generative ai.

I know you might not agree. But that was what industry professionals were telling me.

At first I thought "well, maybe I could marry two halves of my life. Roleplay and books." I could write Mikhail's story and say "here's his bot. I wrote this, too. Don't like how the book went? Here you go. Make up your own ending."

But I kept coming back to the same loop.

Mikhail is on an AI roleplay website.

People will assume generative ai was used in the process at some point.

The book becomes tainted with ai allegations.

Then I'm right back to where I started.

I could private him, yes. But anyone with chats still open could still talk to him. And I'd just be hiding the fact that he existed here, which I don't want to do. And again, I wrote everything you've interacted with. I don't have any shame in the personality sheets or the intro posts.

*I wrote all of them.*

Could I be overthinking? Yes. Am I prone to bad anxiety? Also yes.

But it doesn't matter if I think it is unfair. The truth is that the general writing community and readers are anti-ai. If I wanted to get traditionally published, and by some miracle an agent picked me up, I'd have to disclose I made chatbots, or the book I was writing was based on a character I have on Janitor. And that would get me dropped or blacklisted from the community.

An agent would have to defend me to the public and say I didn't write my books using ai. And that agent would have to consider if they wanted their reputation associated with someone who is involved in the ai-ecosystem.

This was not an easy decision.

I didn't like it.

I may return to creator spaces to support other creators when I am in a better headspace. I really feel that's been one of my stronger traits here, cheerleading other creators in their pursuits.

My creator server will be deleted tonight.

I am sorry. I really, truly am, from the depths of my goddamn soul. When I started making bots on janitor, I didn't think I'd ever hit 700+ followers. Really. This isn't humble pie. I thought if I was *lucky,* maybe 200. I didn't start making bots on Janitor to become famous. I started making bots because I saw a creative community and I wanted to be a part of it so goddamn bad.

I started writing Mikhail's story and you'll notice my bot uploads suddenly went *poof.* I realized I just do not have the creative energy to write books *and* write bots. When I was working on Rory, all my brain wanted to do was hurry it up, rush through it, and get right back into writing my book.

This announcement will be pushed to my Depraved Ideology account sometime today or tomorrow. I'm too gd emotionally wrecked to do much more than be a couch potato today.

It is unfair. I know it. Trust me, I tried for two months, hyped up on hopium, to find a way forward. But right now, it just isn't possible.

Thank you. I loved making bots for you all.

And maybe, if the stars align, you'll wander into a bookstore and find a book I wrote.