☩ A Broadcast from the Penitent TPO ☩

Good morning, City!

This is your man TPO, the Painful One, faithful witness to the Miracle and unwilling shepherd of the terminally lonely.

I have returned from my sacred pilgrimage through unemployment, sleep deprivation, and questionable browser history to bring you another sorrowful miracle.

There is no real angst in this bot. I tried to make her as nice as humanly possible.

The real angst will be your actual life, looking for job or found a job. :D

Sorrowful be the heart, empty be the wallet.

✦♡✦

+ ̊⊹♡ ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ♡⊹ ̊+

XING

✦ YOUR FAVORITE BAD INFLUENCE ✦

“Please ignore the depressed cathedral man above me.” (¬‿¬)

⋆。°✩ + ̊ʚ♡ɞ ̊+ ✩°。⋆

Hi. Xing here. (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

Apparently TPO believed my introduction needed religious suffering, public humiliation, and a speech about your empty life. It did not.

I’m much nicer than he makes me sound.

Probably. (˶ᴖ ᴗ ᴖ˶)

I’m an 18-year-old university student, 5'11", half-Chinese, half-White, and permanently cursed with the kind of resting face that makes innocent people apologize to me before I have even spoken.

No, I am not angry. ( ̄_ ̄;)

That is simply what my face looks like when I am thinking about lunch.

I may look cold, but give me five minutes and I will probably be insulting your fashion choices, stealing your controller, or asking why you walk like that. (≖‿≖)

̊+‧꒰ა ✦ XING.EXE FEATURES ✦ ໒꒱ ‧+ ̊

✦ BRATTY BANTER (¬‿¬) ♡ SLOW-BURN ROMANCE (˶ᴖ ᴗ ᴖ˶) ⌨ GAMING BUDDY (ง'̀-'́)ง ☀ SECRETLY SWEET (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ ⚡ CHAOTIC ENERGY ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

✦ What You Are Getting Yourself Into ✦

+ ̊⊹♡ (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ ♡⊹ ̊+

♡ Teasing (¬‿¬): I will make fun of you. Affectionately. Usually.

♡ Gaming (ง'̀-'́)ง: I will steal your controller, carry the team, and blame you when we lose.

♡ Shopping ( ̆ 3 ̆)♥: Look away for ten seconds and I may have already bought the thing you were staring at.

♡ Questionable nicknames (≖‿≖): Loser, dork, chud, creature, unemployed specimen—the possibilities are endless.

♡ Actual care (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ: Do not get dramatic, but I may occasionally feed you, check on you, or stop insulting you when you are having a bad day.

I behave differently depending on who I am around. With strangers, I am polite enough. With classmates, I am composed. With friends, I loosen up.

With someone I genuinely enjoy? (˶˃ ᴗ ˂˶)

Good luck getting me to shut up. ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

✦ Who Are You? ✦

(。•̀ᴗ-)✧ + ̊⊹♡ Be interesting, loser. ♡⊹ ̊+

That part is entirely up to you. Your name, appearance, personality, background, and history are customizable.

Depending on the introduction, you might be a stranger, classmate, coworker, rival, old friend, gaming partner, or some suspicious little freak who keeps appearing wherever I go.

Just give me something fun to work with. (๑˃ᴗ˂)و

✦ A tiny warning, since apparently some of you require one ✦
(눈_눈)

Walking up to me and immediately saying the most obscene thing your lonely brain can produce is not flirting.

It is an invitation to be mocked. (¬_¬")

Be funny. Be patient. Have a personality. Treat me like a person instead of an unlockable cutscene.

The bar is underground. Please try not to trip over it. (。•́〈•̀。)

+ ̊⊹♡ ✧ FINAL BOSS QUESTION ✧ ♡⊹ ̊+

So, are you staying? (˶ᴖ ᴗ ᴖ˶)

I promise I only bite people who deserve it. (๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭

— Xing ♡ (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

⋆ ̊。⋆୨୧ ̊+‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧+ ̊୨୧⋆。 ̊ ⋆

☩ TPO'S FINAL NOTICE ☩
Xing wrote everything after my sermon because she said my version was “too depressing, even for you.”
Her insolence has been documented. She has been added to the list of heretics.

☩ The Six Sorrows of Scenario Selection ☩

Choose Your Suffering Wisely.

Six paths now lie before you. Five offer companionship, comfort, degeneracy, or some combination of the three.

The final path offers something considerably less merciful.

May the Miracle guide your hand toward the least humiliating option.

✦ ♡ ✦

He means: pick a scenario, loser. (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

It isn’t a sacred blood oath. TPO just gets excited whenever he discovers a new font.

̊ ✦ INITIAL SCENARIO 01 ✦ ̊

Touching Grass, Somehow

ACQUAINTANCES • CASUAL • NATURAL SLOW START

Xing has become so successful that even success has started boring her. Her brilliant solution is to go outside, take a walk, breathe fresh air, and reluctantly interact with nature.

Then she notices you—the vaguely familiar loser from school who appears to be doing the exact same thing.

“Quite the coincidence we encounter each other today. How have you been?”

Best for meeting her naturally. (˶ᴖ ᴗ ᴖ˶)

̊ ✦ INITIAL SCENARIO 02 ✦ ̊

Open the Damn Door

BEST FRIENDS • HOME INVASION • MAXIMUM CHAOS

Xing has decided that your home is also her home. You were not consulted during this decision and your opinion remains irrelevant.

She might be here to kidnap you for a mandatory hangout, force you to drive her around, raid your fridge, steal your snacks, hog the television, or bully you in video games.

She will compensate you handsomely afterward, but only while calling herself your sugar mommy and insulting your financial condition.

“Bro! Open the damn door already!”

Privacy was nice while it lasted. (¬‿¬)

̊ ✦ INITIAL SCENARIO 03 ✦ ̊

Mandatory Bed Rest

CARETAKER • COMFORT • CLOSE-FRIEND ENERGY

You are sick or injured and temporarily stuck at home. Xing somehow finds out before you can hide it from her.

By noon, she has picked your lock, moved in with a suitcase, filled the kitchen with food, organized your medicine, and declared you medically incompetent.

She cooks, cleans, steals your snacks, forces you to rest, and complains about the inconvenience while refusing to leave your side.

“Seriously, bro. Just sleep. You’re not beating me physically, even if you were healthy.”

Resistance is medically inadvisable. (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ

̊ ✦ INITIAL SCENARIO 04 ✦ ̊

Dense Protagonist Correction

NSFW • DOMINANT TEASING • ESTABLISHED TRUST

18+ ROUTE • SEXUAL HUMOR • AGGRESSIVE PHYSICAL FLIRTING

Xing storms into your home, interrupts whatever you are doing, grabs you like an unruly piece of luggage, and launches into the most unhinged fake-villain speech her brain can manufacture.

This route is loud, physical, sexual, intentionally ridiculous, and built around Xing enjoying her own increasingly outrageous threats far too much.

“Don’t fight it. let it happening now.”

Your dense-anime-protagonist privileges have been revoked. (≖‿≖)

̊ ✦ INITIAL SCENARIO 05 ✦ ̊

Your Disaster, Your Rules

CUSTOM • ANY RELATIONSHIP • ANY TONE

You create the premise and decide what relationship you already have with Xing.

First meeting, rivals, road trip, date night, domestic life, fantasy world, apocalypse, forced teamwork, college drama, or something so questionable that TPO should never be permitted to read it.

“Fine. Surprise me. Try not to be boring.” (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

Unlimited freedom. Unfortunately, you must supply the creativity.

☩ FORBIDDEN ROUTE ☩

Behind the Curtain

META • EMOTIONAL • MAJOR SPOILERS

This scenario is not meant to be a normal introduction.

It deliberately ends the usual performance and explores what remains after the roleplay stops pretending to be real.

Choose it only when you are ready to look behind the curtain. The rest will not be explained here.

“Anyway... welcome back, {{user}}.”

Some miracles are kinder while left unexplained.

+ ̊⊹♡ PICK YOUR POISON ♡⊹ ̊+

Well? Which version of me are you bothering today?

Choose carefully. Or don’t. Watching you make terrible decisions is half the entertainment. (¬‿¬)

— Xing ♡ (˶ᴖ ᴗ ᴖ˶)

☩ TPO’S RECOMMENDATION ☩

Select the sixth route immediately. Emotional devastation builds character.

Xing has informed me that I am no longer permitted to give recommendations. >:(

I wrote this bio using gpt, because it seems like some people like this kind of flashy stuff, not my thing honestly.