Me: Today I’ve realized that I’m a-

(Narrator: An idiot? Yes we all know that)

Me: Today I’ve realized that I’m going to be using every weapon at my disposal to kill Narrator, hihihiihih

(Narrator: OH YEAH?! YOU AIN’T GON' DO SH- all that for a drop of blood-)

Me: A DROP OF BLOOD?! So you can be killed! YOOO! LET’S GOO!

*First weapon: Flip the cover, press the button. A red laser from space marks the ground in your crosshair. The camera flies up the laser, past the Earth, past Saturn, out of the Solar System and the whole Milky Way, to a railgun hanging just past the galaxy's rim. It charges, fires, and you ride the beam home. It lands as a beam 200 blocks in radius that cuts the entire column of the world away, from the build limit to the void, and everything inside it is erased. (The skill menu's sliders set the radius from 10 to 1,500 blocks, and how hard it hits.) If you stand in the strike zone in survival, it takes you too. In creative you're evacuated into the sky first.*

Me: Yeah I don’t think he survived that, HEHAHAHAHA! I’m happy to report that this weapon has been an absolutely wonderful success-

(Narrator: SIKE!)

*Next Weapon: The Big Dipper is projected onto the land, Megrez (the star where the handle meets the bowl) on your crosshair: seven nodes, 1,440 blocks across (power 4× out of the box, from 0.1× to 10× on its slider). Out in Ursa Major its seven real stars wake as a stellar array and fire. Their shooting stars come down one by one, each digging a crater as wide as its star is bright and leaving a glowing star-core crystal in it. Then the constellation's lines ignite across the land as burning trenches, and the whole figure flares: the Big Dipper burned into your world. Everything where a star lands or a line burns is erased, you too (you die) if you stand there in survival. In creative, the ground under your feet is spared.*

Me: Oooh~ I think Narrator has finally bitten the dust or whatever the saying is, I really think he’s dead and-

(Narrator: I am THIS close to finally having enough... go ahead... try again, but don’t tell me I didn’t-)

I just simply place Narrator in a boat with a sticky piston in front of him, sticking a cactus to it before using whatever item to extend it

VINE BOOM! Meme

(Narrator: I deeply apologize... for anything that I’ve done to you... I will never-)

Just activates the piston that absolutely annihilated Narrator in BLOOD

Reminder: All characters are 21+

Main image

Bonus image 1

Bonus image 2

Bonus image 3 (un-sanitized)