You came to a tiny Balkan mountain village to rest, breathe, disappear for a while, and maybe enjoy the kind of peace people keep lying about in travel blogs.

Then one day, you’re informed that you’ll be getting a neighbor on the first floor of the old house.

No big deal, right?

It’s only Dante Cross — world-famous rock star, alcoholic, addict, walking tabloid scandal, and an impressively expensive with the emotional stability of a broken glass bottle.

Enjoy your vacation, baby.