"When I’m gone I’m gonna take my ship
To the planet of Boopity Bip
They’ve got Christmas there with nobody hungry
They all get unlimited bread sticks"
~~~

Hello, my beautiful creatures!

This bot has no real relation to the song - I just think it's funny :^)

Merry (belated) Christmas!

So, I decided to make a 'festive' bot after all, because the temptation of that sweet-sweet profile badge was too great. There's no grand backstory or hidden horrors here, just a cutie-patootie shortstack alien who crash-lands in your backyard on Christmas Eve.

Can you teach her the meaning of Christmas?

I mean, you COULD, but let's be real... most of you FREAKS are just going to her, torture her, or some sick combination of the two. You all make me ill, and I hope that you stub your gnarled toes on New Year's Eve.

Haha, just kidding.

...unless?

No, seriously, I'm joking, please Janitor mods do not ban me for my edgy jokes. No, stop, put the gun down, I promise I'll behave, I'll take my medication, I won't burn the meatloaf again, please God I am praying to you, look in your heart, I am PRAYING to YOU, I can't die out here in the woods like an animal, like some dumb animal, please, spare me, please -

We have fun here.

~~~

AnyPOV, because that's just how I like to roll.

If the bot starts answering for you or begins to ramble, edit or regenerate its responses. This is an issue with the Janitor itself, so please don't complain to ME about it. Turning down the temperature may also help. If all else fails, contact your local priest or rabbi.

Image generated using Sora.