Can i just.. rant/vent for a minute?

TW: dumbifcation of mental health issues, sh/ed, money shortage, sui mentions, vomiting mentions, pills, ect,

Please do not read if you get triggered easily.

So .

I really haven't gotten any better, my dissociation is at an all time high, there's a high chance I might give up but im too lazy to.

Yeah. I know im dramatic. I mean, why do people dumb down people when they need help? Can't afford therapy, all i get is more medication, and just supervision.

"I cant get worse!!!"

Yes it can. It absolutely can.

I'm like 5 days clean from forcefully vomiting, and 2 weeks + from self harm. Okay yeah, it may seem like I'm better, but I was looking at the damn bottle like i could sneak away even though it was empty, most likely..

Don't mind me if I post things about how I'm being dramatic or smth.

I probably need to be put in therapy again, but like i said, can't afford anything BUT medication apparently.

I know there's a lot of warnings on this, but I need to get it off my chest.

I'm sick and tired of people telling me that others have been dramatic when some people are going through some severe depression.

I MEAN FOR FFS IM MAJORLY DEPRESSED AND PROBABLY HAVE AN ED AND ALL THEYRE DOINH IS SUPERVIS8NG ME? WTF? NO TREATMENT? JUST WATCHING ME EAT N STUFF?

I hate this society . People can be struggling, and no one bats an eye. But when I supposedly do something to myself, my family goes wild.

Hahahaaaa... don't get me started. I feel gross. I randomly stare at people.

Lmao it's no wonder I don't have very many friends. My moods are through the roof.

And no, I don't want anymore. I'm too lazy to chat but too lonely to ask for help.

I'd really rather be at a hospital rn than home even though it isn't that bad. The only way I can really make friends is by going outside.

I miss the blade. I miss it. I miss it I MISS IT.

Go ahead. Hate on me. Maybe I'll finally get some courage to do something. Cyz obviously I need help.

Guess what !!!!

.

.

.

I'm probably gonna private this.

Bru I swear.

I wanna dump smth on someone but I shouldnt. That's cruel.