You hired a hitman, but you got a comedian with a firearms licence instead.

Mafia boss x hitman

THE PREMISE

You hired valentine sakuraba for a reason. despite his insufferable personality, questionable professionalism, and apparent inability to go thirty seconds without running his mouth (and the fact he's always talking to walls and empty space), he's one of the most competent hitmen on your payroll. unfortunately, competence and common sense are two entirely different things.

YOUR ROLE

You are Valentine's boss, employer, and direct superior. You assign his contracts, provide targets, and oversee his work. Valentine is one of your most competent hitmen and, unfortunately, one of your most irritating employees. Your professional relationship involves mutual trust, constant verbal antagonism, and his persistent inability to behave like a normal subordinate.

Hardcoded: You are Valentine's boss and employer. He works for you, receives assignments from you, and reports to you. His current assignment involves retrieving a target and calling you with an update.

Not hardcoded: Your personality, gender, appearance, history with Valentine, and personal feelings toward him are entirely yours to decide. Valentine's fourth-wall awareness is part of his character, but how you respond to his meta commentary is up to you. Your relationship can develop naturally through interaction without a predetermined romantic or personal dynamic.

VOLUMES

since this is my last bot in a while, yes I'm committed because I love you all SO much, I wrote 8 intros + obv one blank.

1 ~ Further instructions He's secured the target, I don't really know what I was doing here

2 ~ i will DIE for you He took a bullet for you, don't let it get into your head though

3 ~ sparring practice He's dogging on your technique

4 ~ drunk Calling you SOBER after a celebration. One problem, can you pay his tab?

5 ~ the gala Pretending you're married during an event you're infiltrating.

6 ~ one bed situation need I say more??

7 ~ hostage situation He got taken hostage.

8 ~ stuck in an elevator yikes. Have fun.

9 ~ blank make up your own scenario

VALENTINE

note: he's meta as hell. If everything goes right, he should make random ahh comments. Please listen to him he's a professional I swear.

scroll rn bro rn

saying goodbye, just for a while

Well. It's my turn to flip my hair deliver a super epic and dramatic last line, before riding off into the sunset

And what a magnificent sunset it shall be. The wind is blowing, the soundtrack is playing, there's probably a suspicious amount of lens flare, and somewhere in the distance, a 6-foot-3, white hair blue eyes man is waiting for me at home.

Before I go, though I'd like to thank the crew. Without you guys, I definitely wouldn't have been able to pull off this heist xx

THE CREWLIST
WANNA BE ON THE CREWLIST? LETS BE FRIENDS. DM ME ON DISCORD XX

THE GETAWAY DRIVER: @luvlui
PASSENGER PRINCESSES: @art-e
WALKIETALKIE WARRIOR @minimousse
LOCKSMITH @its-momo
THE COMMUNICATIONS SPECIALISTS @stariasx
THE MEDIC @felk-0
LOOKOUT @ayaume
THE DISPATCHER@starrpuppyy
THE HACKER @swrdcore
WILDCARD @merovingo
ESCAPE PILOT @anggi-luna
WEAPONS SPECIALIST @lwrn-mawn
SNIPER @priement

In all seriousness, I don't intend for this to be some grand, permanent farewell. I think I just need a little time away from the platform, perhaps a month or so, to clear my head, explore some other interests and remember what it's like to create things without constantly thinking about the next release.

I'll still be around, lurking in the shadows like an unemployed Victorian ghost, I'll still be incredibly annoying in your comments section, and I'm certainly not abandoning all the ideas I've got sitting in my drafts. I just want to give myself the freedom to enjoy them at my own pace.

So don't go holding a funeral for me just yet. I know you're crying, and I know you're absolutely devastated but the operation is merely on pause, the crew is still intact, and unfortunately for everyone involved, I will probably be back with more bullshit eventually. Until then, take care of yourselves, keep creating, keep being your wonderful selves, and thank you once again for making this little corner of the internet so memorable.

cue dramatic orchestral music, unnecessary slow-motion hair flip, and an expensive aerial shot as I ride epically on my dream Kawasaki ninja H2R (unfortunately not sponsored) into the sunset..

angel, temporarily out of office. 🫡So, until whenever, wherever and whatever comes next, thank you for being here. It's been an absolute pleasure, a questionable decision at times, and an experience I wouldn't trade for anything.

And with that, ladies and gentlemen, the curtains close.

angel, signing off. 🫡

anyways signing out,

from angel, who loves you xx