hi sorry I’ve been like dead for 5 or so days but school is kinda good one of my teachers only allows 2 bathroom breaks per quarter EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE 2 PER DAY YOU FUCKING BITCH anyways one of my teachers I’ve known since I was 3 WOOAHHH that’s a long time :0

anyways like this one person (not saying their name for privacy but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE I’M STILL PISSED YOU TOOK MY MINI HARMONICA AND TOOK MY FAVORITE YEARBOOK YOU) is still a problem and spreading rumors that one of my friends is dating my boyfriend. Like.. can I go one year without someone spreading rumors about us 😭 we reported her OBVI and hopefully her bitch ass will be taken care of but idk. My boyfriend and I have like 3 classes together and they’re some of my favorite classes :3 he’s the best bf ever and I love him so much idk what I’d lowkey do without him. This one girl I share EVERY class with and she blatantly flirts with my bf and HATE HATE HHHAAATTTEESS my guts idk what I did to her and they call it platonic and he usually flirts back but idk maybe I’m overthinking it or smth weird but yeah. Probably overthinking it tbh that’s one ruined one of my last relationships bc I was overthinking the fact they sent ‘I love you’ n stuff like that to one of our friends that was their ex and I brought it up and they went off on my ass like I just ran over their dog or smth :( prob my fault like usual (I think) but idk. It happens a lot in my relationships like I usually bring something up that I’m wondering like how shityy they’re being to me or something off about them and they immediately go off on me, or I just get ghosted. Most of my relationships are just from trauma bonding with each other and it usually feels very one-side, and I usually get with really bad people kinda like a ‘I can fix them’ shit bc I’m a dumbass with too many emotions and empathy. btw I have pe FIRST HOUR 🫩✌️ it kinda sucks ass ngl like BROTHER I DONT WANNA PLAY DODGEBALL AT 7:55 IN THE FUCKING MORNING WITH THESE TRYHARDS STAWPPPPPPP >:[ this year so far (it’s been 3 fucking days) is lowkey making my gender dysphoria kinda worse bc everyone knows me as my deadname and lowkey I’ve been called ‘she/her’ (literally just called that in the halls, not even using it as my pronouns just calling me fucking ‘she/her’) and another very feminine things. Also almost forgot my meds (ADHD) all 3 days so yeah that’s kinda not very fun. I haven’t been sleeping well lately as well. Also stuff at home has been a lot worse and taking a really heavy toll on my health physically and mentally like I haven’t been able to walk that well for almost 5 days, I’ve had extremely bad headaches recently, I’m constantly needing to watch my younger siblings while my mom takes a smoke or she’s arguing with the stepdad when he’s over to ‘see the kids’, and I listen to my mom rant about stuff and always take it extremely seriously and understand it too well. and like I’m scared to lose my boyfriend. I feel like our relationship is a bit strained and I’m trying too hard. I honestly try too hard with most things and that just causes people to distance with me which is honestly understand but it hurts and idk what to do about it. Idk how to fix that. It’s a problem I have that idk how to fix or what to do about it and it sucks. But then when I try too hard and it pushes someone away, I just try harder for some fucking reason and it pushes them away more until eventually we’re just done. Tbh everything’s overwhelming as shit but like oh fucking well what’s new?

dawg I’m ranting on a porn site I’m gonna cry 😭✌️

don’t mind my horrible grammar rn I’m really fucking tired and it’s almost 5:30 AM. Sorry for typing so much here btw I just have a lot of shit I wanted to add here :0

deadass was contemplating if I should even post this tbh but it we ball I’ll probably delete this tomorrow :/

Goodnight my lovely rats! Take care of yourselves, drink water, eat, go outside, be nice to yourself <3

yap in the comments if you want :)