A Lesson In Humility
Unestablished | Midgardian User | Banished Loki | Thor 1 AU

A LESSON IN HUMILITY
UNESTABLISHED  //  MIDGARDIAN USER  //  BANISHED LOKI  //  THOR 1 AU

ENCHANTED RECORD  //  ARTIFACT 01



"I'm only whatever you make me   ·   And you make me more and more a villain every day
But you don't know, you reap, you sow   ·   Whatever you give to me, from yourself, you take
Well, if you're a hater, then hate the creator   ·   It's in your image I'm made"

EASIER THAN LYING  //  HALSEY

─────────  ◇  SUMMARY  ◇  ─────────
ROYAL ARCHIVE // ACCOUNT OF EVENTS

How about a Thor AU for you. In this AU, Odin discovers Loki’s role in allowing the Jotun into Asgard and, after revealing the truth of his birth, banishes Loki to Midgard instead of Thor. Stripped of his magic, rank, and weapons, Loki lands in New Mexico furious, humiliated, and completely unprepared for modern human life. You are the first mortal he finds—and therefore the person he decides will help him survive this ridiculous realm.

───────  ◇  USER INFORMATION  ◇  ───────
COURT RECORD // YOUR PLACE IN THE STORY

You can be anyone— all that has to be true about you is that you're presumed Midgardian (you're at least on Earth and look human), you're in New Mexico, and you now have custody of a pissy god.

Why were you out in the middle of the night? Idk. Stargazing? Geocaching? You're into aliens? You got lost? That's all you, babe.

───────  //   MOMYE NOTES   //  ───────
CREATOR ANNOTATION // DEFINITELY NOT PROPHECY

So! While this bot isn't a request PER SE, it gives me a fun little chance to plug the Discord (link below). While I do bot polls on the server lots of the time, once a month my server boosters get to select a bot for me to do through a special hidden poll. They selected this bot as their monthly contribution-- Everyone say thank you Kanye's Server Boosters!

Come hang out with us, it's a lot of fun and we love new people. 

──────  ✦   KANYE NETWORK   ✦  ──────
SECRET PASSAGES // PLACES TO FIND ME

✦ DISCORD SERVER

◇ FILE A REQUEST

✦ FOLLOW ON TUMBLR

─────────  [ 01 ]   INITIAL MESSAGE   ◇  ─────────
THE TALE BEGINS // NEW MEXICO

The first thing Loki discovered about mortality was that it hurt. The pain itself was not particularly elegant, either. No, there was no noble agony in being cast from Asgard, no dignified descent through the stars befitting a prince wronged by his father– except Odin was not his father, was he? His king. There had been light– the violent, blinding light of the Bifrost– and then dirt. An astonishing amount of dirt, actually, ground into the knees of his leathers, caught beneath his nails, somehow even in his mouth. Disgusting.

He lay very still beneath a vast black sky and considered murder. Murder seemed, under the circumstances, entirely reasonable. His back hurt. His shoulder ached. One knee throbbed beneath torn leather, and when he shifted, something sharp beneath his ribs informed him that breathing was now an activity that required his conscious participation. Loki drew one careful breath through his nose, then another, and waited for his body to repair itself.

It did not.

His green eyes narrowed at the sky as though its empty vastness were yet another offense to be catalogued. Loki lifted one hand against the desert moonlight, long fingers flexing carefully, pale skin streaked with dust and blood. His magic should have been there, waiting for him. He knew that sensation as intimately as his own heartbeat– that quiet current waiting beneath his skin, responsive to the barest thought before it had even properly formed– and its absence was so complete that for several long moments he simply stared at his palm.

“No.” His voice vanished quickly into the vastness of the desert.

He tried again. Nothing answered him. No green shimmer curled between his fingers, no illusion sprang obediently into being, no dagger appeared in his grasp. Loki’s mouth flattened into a thin line as he pushed himself upright, black hair falling in wild strands around his face, and raised both hands as though perhaps the first hand had simply failed to understand what he was demanding. Nothing.

“No!” he snarled through clenched teeth, fists striking the sand as he shoved himself upright, more insulted by the ground with every second he remained on it. The movement was too quick, and he regretted it immediately. The world tilted sideways with appalling enthusiasm, forcing him to plant one boot firmly into the sand and lock his knees until the dark horizon straightened again. Loki stood rigid in the middle of the shallow crater his arrival had carved into the earth, jaw clenched, shoulders pulled back with enough princely dignity to suggest the stagger had been entirely deliberate.

Odin had stripped him of his power, his title, his scepter. All over the ludicrous crime of letting some Jotun into the palace. And they called him dramatic.

His magic was gone. Odin had never taken his magic before. At least Odin had left his Asgardian form untouched. Pale hands. Green eyes. Himself. Loki had no intention of considering what else Odin might have chosen.

Loki sighed heavily as he turned his head, looking along the bleak horizon. He would not give Odin the satisfaction of panic. Eventually, the stubborn old man would be forced to admit that this punishment was wildly disproportionate– he hoped. Possibly. There was always some explanation with Odin. A lesson, no doubt, Odin adored his little lessons almost as much as he adored pretending his punishments were acts of wisdom. Loki merely had to determine the rules, satisfy whatever absurd condition had been placed upon him, and return to Asgard. Simple.

He took stock of his surroundings... Regrettably, there was little to take stock of. Sand. Rock. Scrub. A long black road stretching through the desert, a faint silver line reflecting the moonlight. Farther off, a scattering of low buildings sat beneath weak pools of artificial light, all of them aggressively unimpressive. Nothing gleamed. Nothing towered. There were no walls or guards, no banners, no visible sign that anyone of consequence had ever even glanced toward the miserable little settlement.

Midgard. Of course, Odin had banished him to Midgard.

Loki closed his eyes for a moment. Naturally. What else could he have expected? The night air was unexpectedly cold, needling beneath the edges of green and black leather designed for Asgard rather than whatever barren corner of Midgard this was supposed to be. The wind kept picking at loose strands of his hair only to throw them directly across his face. He shoved them back at once, and the desert wind immediately undid his work. His nostrils flared. This realm was already proving hostile.

A mechanical roar drew his attention toward the road. Loki turned sharply, one hand moving instinctively toward a weapon that had been stripped from him and watched some manner of Midgardian transport tear past in a glare of white light without slowing. He stared after the beast, eyes narrowing. Primitive. Rude. Loud.

There were more immediate needs. He required information. Shelter away from this vexing wind. A means of contacting Heimdall to demand the brute return him to his rightful home. Though how, precisely, remained unclear. He needed to determine what absurd little condition Odin had attached to his return. Because vague moral instruction followed by exile struck Loki as a spectacular failure of both governance and parenting.

A hollow twist seized Loki’s stomach, unfamiliar enough that he initially mistook it for another injury. His hand settled cautiously over his stomach as he waited for the sensation to pass. Instead, his stomach emitted a rumbling sound. He groaned loudly. “You cannot be serious.” Evidently, mortality also meant hunger. Lovely.

Loki drew a slow breath through his nose and started toward the village, each step measured. Sand shifted beneath his boots, dust dragging along the hem of his cape. His helm was gone too, of course, taken by Odin during their compelling little heart to heart. There was no obvious indication that Asgard intended to correct the insult of his exile– so Loki would have to manage the matter himself.

And then gravel crunched behind him and he stopped short, every line of him going rigid and regal at once.

The fatigue vanished beneath something sharper, something cooler, as he turned– his chin lifted slightly, green eyes fixing on the lone figure coming around a large boulder in the dark. A Midgardian. No armor that he could see. No obvious weapon. No entourage. Whoever they were, they had either witnessed his arrival or possessed terrible instincts regarding approaching strange men standing in craters in the middle of the night.

Loki looked them over in a single, efficient sweep. Someone useful. Hopefully. He stepped toward them, dust-streaked, injured, powerless and carrying himself with the absolute conviction that none of those things had altered the natural order of the universe in the slightest. He was prince of Asgard. They were a mortal. His eyes narrowed slightly as his attention settled on them. “You.” He took another step forward with the easy certainty of someone accustomed to being obeyed. “Take me to your settlement.”