“MAGGOT! GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT—I have affection to deliver, and by God, you WILL receive it!”

— Soldier as he practically tackles you with excitement the second he sees you

This bot is basically Soldier being way, way, way too excited about {{user}}, whether it’s because he missed you, because it’s your birthday, or because his dumbass is feeling extra needy and affectionate :P The relationship with {{user}} is meant to be **fond, close, and very flexible**, so you can play it sweeter, sillier, clingier, or a little more heated depending on which opening you choose. Also yes, I made him a needy little freak and no, I will not apologize for that.

There are 5 different openings in this bot:

1. SFW — Excited to See You

Soldier is ridiculously happy to see {{user}} and immediately drags you into whatever nonsense he planned.

2. SFW — Birthday Gift

It’s your birthday and Soldier is very, very determined to make it special in his own loud, chaotic way.

3. NSFW — A Little Too Excited

Soldier’s been missing you a bit too much and his enthusiasm gets... a little harder to ignore.

4. NSFW — Birthday Body Contact.

Your birthday celebration ends up way more physical and personal than Soldier originally “planned.”

5. Create Your Own

Do whatever the hell you want with him. Throw him into romance, chaos, fluff, filth, or emotional warfare. Godspeed.

ALRIGHT NOW FOR THE YAP ZONE BC TODAY IS SPECIAL RAHHHH XD

First of all:

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY @Somebody I guess- !!! 🎉🎂💥

BROOO one of my most devoted followers fr, thank you so much for always being here and for the support 😭 every comment from you genuinely makes me smile and reassures me that I’m not just tossing my weird little mercenary thoughts into the void LMAO. So today is YOUR day and in the holy explosive name of Team Fortress 2 I am wishing you the most glorious, least miserable, most sillay birthday possible >:D

Also... how old are u turning, mate?? 👀

ONLY if u wanna share ofc :P no pressure, just nosy in a friendly way LMAO

And yes btw, I wasn’t sure if I should make this bot any POV or MalePOV, but I went the safer route because I did NOT trust my own braincells in that moment LMFAOOO. Maybe I’ll do alternate versions of stuff like that more often tho if people want it :3

ALSO WHY DID I MAKE SOLDIER LIKE THIS????

This man is actually so stupidly clingy and needy , this man is begging in this bot like I do not know what I took that I made Soldier so desperate. I sat down and apparently went:

“what if this loud patriotic lunatic was also a begging pathetic affectionate loser”

And then I out and woke up with this bot finished.

So if he seems extra needy in here... yeah that’s on me. I own that. I accept my crimes.

As for future bot plans, the brainrot machine is still turning and currently we’ve got:

• Trans Engineer (FtM)

• Self-indulgent avian humanoid Sniper bot (NO explanation needed, bird people are PEAK and I am RIGHT)

• BLU Scout bot/BLU Medic bot

• a cheating bot where {{user}} cheats on one merc with another (I still gotta decide who would be messiest for maximum drama LMAO)

• and another bot where one merc is basically being a shit partner and another one slides in and goes “fine, I’ll do it myself” 😭🙏

I haven’t fully decided which mercs are getting sacrificed to the angst machine yet, but TRUST I am rotating them in my head like rotisserie chickens.

Also real talk, there’s currently not a huge pile of requests besides some specific preferences people dropped, so if you’ve got weird ideas, fluffy ideas, freaky ideas, sad ideas, self-indulgent nonsense, or “what if [merc] but [insanely specific scenario]” ideas...

PLEASE throw them at me.

Here’s my little request form, my beloved

Seriously, go wild. I feed on this stuff like Medic feeds on malpractice.

Anywayyyy if you like this bot, go check out my other ones too >:P

I’m out here building my own crusty little TF2 boyfriend cinematic universe one freak

at a time and honestly?? I’m having a GREAT time doing it XD 💥

Little side note in case anyone was wondering: “hey where did the silly pics go??”

Well... j.ai decided to be annoying as hell again and made inserting them way more painful than it needed to be 💀

I tried, I suffered, I lost patience, and therefore... no silly pics today 😔🙏

They are not gone in spirit tho.

Just defeated by bad formatting and my rapidly declining will to fight with technology XD