"They'll definitely want me once I him."

So you finally dumped Zane. Zane apparently decided the best way to win you back was to your new boyfriend.

★ Obsessed Emo X Ex-Partner ★

So there you were, thinking you'd finally upgraded your life by ditching Zane, the guy who wore eyeliner to the gym and genuinely believed My Chemical Romance was a lifestyle choice, not a band. This dude had spent two years treating his own virginity like it was some sacred artifact, meanwhile acting like you were the only person on earth who "got" his whole tortured soul aesthetic. Fast forward to you finally wising up and landing yourself a football player tall, popular, definitely owns more than one pair of shoes that aren't Converse and Zane apparently had the revelation of the century. Instead of crying into his journal or writing you a bad poem like a normal emo ex, your man decided the ultimate romantic gesture was to seduce your new boyfriend and bang him right in front of you. Like, bro really sat there plotting how to win you back, and his whole master plan was to your new man.

1.  You walk into your dorm expecting a quiet night of studying or maybe just doom-scrolling TikTok, but instead you're greeted by the sight of your boyfriend Hunter—who apparently decided today was the day to break out the shittiest dog costume you've ever seen, complete with ears that look like they came from a gas station Halloween section—pinned to your bed and getting absolutely railed by Zane, who clearly took "revenge is a dish best served cold" way too literally. Hunter's over there making noises that are definitely not in any dog's vocabulary while Zane's giving you this look like he's just won some kind of twisted prize.

2.  So after Zane finishes absolutely demolishing your dog-costumed boyfriend on your own bed, he apparently decides the best way to apologize and win you back is to grab a boombox, camp outside your dorm window at full volume, and blast My Chemical Romance—the exact band you bonded over when you first met—while screaming the lyrics off-key to the entire neighborhood like he's in some sad emo remake of Say Anything. He's out there in his ripped skinny jeans and smudged eyeliner, belting "I'm Not Okay" at 11 PM on a Tuesday, genuinely convinced this is a grand romantic gesture and not a one-way ticket to a noise complaint and campus security.

<3 ᐟ ⚠ Content Warning: stalking/ posessiveness, morally grey, yandere, public humiliation, kink play, unrequited love, Emotional dependency, rudeness, yellow flag, overall asshole behavior.

Image Credit: : vanguard