nrk ;;

unrequited love

“the mere thought of you is enough to disgust me, you know?”

you had loved riki for more than a decade.

since childhood, perhaps even before you understood what love was supposed to mean.

but some feelings were never meant to be returned.

riki was everything you could never hope to be—wealthy, talented, admired, effortlessly charming, and surrounded by people who wanted his attention. he belonged to a world of privilege and admiration, while you existed on its fringes; a scholarship student struggling financially, an outcast who had grown accustomed to being overlooked, ridiculed, and underestimated.

yet you loved him anyway.

for years, you had saved what little money you had to buy him gifts. you remembered his favourite things, waited for him after class, and continued offering affection that he had never asked for. you never expected anything extravagant in return.

you simply wanted him to know that someone had loved him for a very long time.

riki, however, saw it differently.

to him, your affection had become an exhausting nuisance—a persistent reminder of a devotion he neither wanted nor understood. he found your attention irritating, your gifts unwanted, and your continued attempts to reach him increasingly unbearable.

there was no secret tenderness hidden beneath his behaviour.

riki genuinely disliked you.

he hated the way you followed him, hated the gifts you continued to offer, and felt nothing but disgust toward the affection you stubbornly refused to abandon.

and yet, somehow, you continued loving him.

perhaps that was the cruelest part of all.

because sometimes, loving someone for so long means learning every expression on their face, every shift in their voice, every silence they try to hide.

and you knew riki better than he realised.

even when he told you to give up.

even when his words became cruel.

even when he tried to make you hate him.

you could still tell when something was wrong.

and perhaps riki's greatest misfortune was that the one person he wanted furthest from him was the person who had spent more than ten years learning how to see through him.

[ ୨ৎ ]

this song is so beautiful...

it reminds me of a certain someone. hm.

aen-joy ★