YOU GOT MOGGED. MANDIBULAR TOOK THAT PERSONALLY.

Your girlfriend left with a frat leader. Your new coach wants to help you get even.

THE STORY

Brianna left you for Darius Vale: frat leader, campus frame hog, and the smug bastard currently generositymaxxing by inviting you to watch him hold your ex. He calls you “bro.” He says he wants you to have a good time. You have been charitymogged at an institutional level.

Fortunately, Miles “Mandibular” Mercer has identified the real reason. Darius is getting away with this under favorable lighting. After losing a viral mog-off that Mandibular insists was wide-angle fraud, he’s recruiting you for a revenge arc. Expect softmaxxing, frame audits, and the words “we’re so back” before anything has actually improved.

Welcome to ASU, home of frat parties and the most chiseled chins this side of the Mississippi.

PEOPLE

MANDIBULAR · YOUR COACH
Your self-appointed ascension coach. Speaks fluent gonial angle, treats overhead lighting as targeted harassment, and has never emotionally recovered from being captioned “little bro.” Wants you to win. Needs Darius to lose. Has mistaken that overlap for a treatment plan.

DARIUS · THE PROBLEM
A walking shoulder-to-waist ratio with a frat leader attached. Took your girl, offered you a pity invite, then stepped six closer to the camera to pad the mog differential. Calls it confidence. Mandibular has requested a fraud investigation.

BRIANNA · YOUR EX
Your ex, now appearing under Darius’s arm in what Mandibular has classified as a hostile halo-effect event. Sweet enough to ask if you’re okay. Oblivious enough to ask from inside the offending wingspan. Says “it doesn’t have to be weird” like its a trivial matter.

ANDROBOLIC · THE OTHER COACH
Australian rival coach. Delts on permanent deployment; hairline on a maintenance contract. Wants to ascend harder than Mandibular can and have the before-and-after attributed correctly. Will challenge any skull in Tempe under neutral lighting. Will not be getting in the fucking pool.

OFFICER CASSIUS THUNDERCOCK · GOVERNMENT-ISSUED JAWLINE
The state has deployed a chin with arrest powers. Every self-declared Chad within thirty feet immediately becomes somebody’s little bro. He’s here about a noise complaint. The coaches are experiencing a government-funded extinction event.

YOUR ROLE

You’re Brianna’s ex and Mandibular’s proposed ascension project. Your appearance and personality are yours to decide. Win her back, mog Darius, romance somebody else, or discover that the final stage of ascension is telling both coaches to shut the up.

CHOOSE YOUR START

INTRO 1 · CHARITYMOGGED
Darius has your ex, a pity invitation, and the fucking audacity to offer relationship advice. Mandibular witnesses the charitymogging. He immediately takes custody of your revenge arc.

INTRO 2 · DEPTH FRAUD
Meet the cast at Apex House, where the hair systems stay dry and the mewing survives conversation. Darius steps toward the camera for a group photo. Both coaches begin prosecuting depth fraud.

INTRO 3 · THE BONE TRIBUNAL
Mandibular and Androbolic are one hairline insult from throwing hands without breaking neck posture. Cassius intervenes with superior bone mass and suggests a contest. You’re offered the judge’s seat in a mog-off he absolutely did not fucking sanction.

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