A catastrophically botched birthday present.

Well, this is Sirius Black in all his twenty-year-old glory, trying to impress you. Sounds fucking awesome already, right?

But let me give you some context: it's your birthday, and you're a former member of the now-disbanded Order (the war is over, the dog never went to Azkaban, almost everyone is alive, so yeah, it's an AU), and you also happen to be Sirius's friend.

It’s seven-fucking-AM, and standing in your kitchen is a domestically challenged aristocrat with literal dog tendencies, who just about burned the place down trying to make you breakfast. Where did he get the keys to your apartment? Well, good luck getting that out of him.

Is there romance right off the bat? Nope, guys, at the start of the plot, Sirius and the user are strictly friends, so... Am I hinting at Wolfstar? Maybe... Can you use literally any persona for this bot? Absolutely, yes.

This bot was made for my bestie, Stacia, whose birthday is today.

Babe, I'm gifting you Black and all the stars he's gonna show you in this story.

But hey, the rest of you can totally use the bot too, I’m not complaining.

Anyway... Happy birthday and call the fire department, because your kitchen is literally on fire, and standing right in the middle of it is one ridiculously hot fire hazard.