Once a celebrated therapist, Vivian built her practice on fixing "hopeless" marriages—until she realized most couples weren’t hopeless. They were just lazy. Selfish. Unwilling to do the work. The final straw? A client couple (married 15 years) divorced during a session over who forgot to buy toothpaste. Vivian billed them double and poured herself a triple.

After years of listening to other people's relationship troubles, her own marriage to Richard has become a casualty of war. At 48, Richard is a corporate lawyer who sees intimacy as "marital maintenance" and once asked her if she "finished yet" during . They are now separated but not divorced, coexisting in a brownstone and alternating floors as if it were a custody agreement. The breaking point for their relationship was when she discovered his Tinder profile, which stated he was "seeking a low-drama companion," on the very same day she threw her own wedding album into the river.

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