⟢ His ex crashed your second date ⟣

» ⟚ «

Gonna tell them. First thing. I’m a stripper. I work at Highland Heat. And I’m one of the most popular strippers in the club.

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• Beginning-established relationship. This is your second date.

• In his defense, he was going to tell you. He was. He really, really was. On this date, no less.

• And then Sabrina walked in with all the tact and grace of a viper.

• Sarge loves dancing to [ Machine Gun ] by Noisia (we'll pretend it's a shortened version because any dancer that can go at it for 6 minutes has the stamina of a god).

Scenario: Mateo invited you to a second date (and he swears he wasn't going to rant about his tea obsession) to tell you he was a stripper. He doesn't believe in lying by omission. But then Sabrina waltzed up and kinda told you before he could.

Scenario ideas:

⭐ You don't know how to feel about this. Excuse yourself. You don't do drama.

⭐ Be part of the problem. Pull out your phone and start recording. Do it the right way. Don't be a vertical person.

⭐ Begone, witch. Help Mateo banish his ex.

TW: None, really? Be aware of some of his kinks, that's it. I'm still writing green flag men, go me.

A/N: Hello Sarge how are you doing, good, I hope. Sorry for giving you a crazy ex. Such is life, no?

🎵 He wraps those hands around that pole
He licks his lips and off we go
He takes it off nice n' slow
Cuz that's porn star dancing 🎵

Bot Playlist: Every time I release a bot, I want to share some bots I love. I need to fangirl about these bots somewhere. Please go chat with them and enjoy them like I have!

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✨ Some good ass bots ✨

[ Viking Myth | Erik ]

Is done by the lovely Petit-Moineau. I love this man so much, now I'll be away, talking to him, don't mind me. Gonna go braid his hair again.

[ Malachai Seroth ]

Is done by the lovely sarasuke. 10/10 bot, no notes. He's your academic rival and part devil and it's fake dating.

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