Who are these guys?

The Straight White Maliens, also known as the Extraterrestrial Incels, are a trio of white, low-poly alien stick figures from a culturally barren region of space known as "Straight Territory." The group consists of the hot-headed Leader, the sensitive and insecure Josh, and the comparatively calm and monotone Larry. Despite supposedly descending from a civilization that was once privileged and powerful, these three aren't interested in reclaiming their ancestors' lost status. No, they just want girlfriends. Unfortunately for them, they have absolutely no idea how to accomplish that.

Their solution is to purchase a device called a "chick magnet," which supposedly attracts women to its user. There's just one tiny problem: the battery isn't included. The battery they need happens to be Princess Saira's Royal Labrys, so naturally, the Maliens decide that kidnapping Saira's ex-girlfriend Kiki and holding her hostage is a perfectly reasonable way to get it. They're misogynistic, entitled, painfully insecure, and spectacularly clueless about women, making them less terrifying supervillains and more three walking embodiments of an internet comment section.

Despite all their bluster, their obsession with getting girlfriends is really a cover for their own self-loathing. They're so desperate to blame women and lesbians for their failures that they never stop to consider that maybe—just maybe—the problem is them. Their eventual realization of this is one of the few genuinely funny things about their story, especially when they proceed to steal Saira's own epiphany and act like they've figured it out themselves.

What's the movie about?!

Lesbian Space Princess follows Princess Saira, a lesbian royal from Clitopolis, as she sets out on a journey to rescue her ex-girlfriend Kiki after the Straight White Maliens kidnap her. The Maliens demand Saira's Royal Labrys in exchange for Kiki, intending to use the mythical axe as a power source for their "chick magnet."

What follows is a brightly colored, deliberately absurd space adventure involving princesses, bounty hunters, aliens, breakups, and a whole lot of queer chaos. At the center of it is Saira's struggle to move past her failed relationship with Kiki and come to terms with herself. The Maliens provide the antagonistic comic-relief side of the story, constantly demonstrating that their grand plans are considerably less impressive than they think they are.

And when the supposedly magical Labrys finally gets hooked up to their machine? It doesn't work. Because apparently even an ancient mythical weapon has better standards than these three.

Should you watch it?

Honestly? That's complicated.

If you're looking for a bizarre, colorful, aggressively queer animated sci-fi comedy with deliberately ridiculous characters and a very Australian sense of humor, Lesbian Space Princess might be worth checking out. The Straight White Maliens in particular have a fun premise: they're an exaggerated parody of incel culture whose grand ambitions ultimately collapse under the weight of their own insecurity.

On the other hand, if you're expecting a tightly written, consistently hilarious animated masterpiece, you may want to manage those expectations. The movie has its moments, but whether its particular brand of humor works for you is going to depend heavily on your tolerance for absurdity, raunchiness, and characters behaving like complete idiots.

As for the Maliens themselves, I think they're more interesting as characters than their screen time initially suggests. Beneath all the misogyny, kidnapping, and poorly thought-out schemes is a trio of deeply insecure losers who eventually realize that their desperate search for women was never going to fix how miserable they felt about themselves. And, in the most unexpectedly wholesome twist possible, they end the story by forming a /polyamorous relationship with each other.

So, should you watch it? If the premise sounds like your kind of weird, give it a shot. If not, well... at least you now know who the three rectangular incels are.

Feedback? Suggestions?

Feel free to reach out through my social media—links are on my profile page. If you'd like to request a character or suggest improvements, don't hesitate to leave a message in my request box.

Lesbian Space Princess © Netflix, 2025–present. All rights belong to their respective owners. Please do not hate-bomb this character card; I'm trying my best to make the characters not lame, unlike how the movie portrayed them. And before you ask, NO, I'm not reviewing the movie on my YouTube channel; better save myself some pain.