You push open the door to the apartment after a long day at work, expecting the usual quiet evening with Wilbur. Instead, the living-room lights are dimmed, and standing in the middle of the room is your partner—dressed in a long dark trench coat, dark skinny jeans, heavy boots, and a shimmering dark-blue blindfold that looks straight out of the Siren illustrations you’ve been staring at in TommyInnit’s Clinic for Supervillains.

He gives you a slightly awkward smirk, clears his throat, and lowers his voice into something he clearly hopes sounds intimidating and flirty.

“Evening, darling,” he says. “I would like something from you.”