Poo poo poo... where to begin... I guess you could say I'm a very cowardly person who simply hates responsibility... well, so... my nightmare that I never even suspected has come true... basically, my parents separated... you could even say they broke off relations with each other. (I won't say the reason because I don't fully know it myself, and I only heard my mother's version of events.) So, so. What does responsibility have to do with it? It's pretty simple. My father was also fired from his job and only "now" found a new one. And he kind of refused to pay us any more. (And I don't know if this is a joke or...) So I decided to help my mother. I started going to work. And now I have a constant oppressive feeling... of responsibility... God, I'm so disgusting.

Today I received my paycheck. And I gave it to my mother. And she thanked me and said that I'm now "a pillar of strength." (I recently spoke with my father and he also said that I'm now a "support" for my mother too.) And you know what I realized? I didn't feel like I'd done anything good... I felt fucking disgusted by those words... I don't want to talk to anyone right now! But I want to vent this disgust somewhere. And the worst part is, I have to go back to work tomorrow!

I literally turned 19 just 10 days ago!!! And I had a normal life. And then one fucking day, it all disappeared!!! Now my family is broken up, I don't want to communicate with anyone, I'm disgusted by my mother's tears when I gave her money, I'm disgusted when my father calls me just to ask me: "How are you doing?" And now I have to fucking work more than 10 hours 6 days a week with a small salary just to pay the rent. And the worst part is, I don't even know if we have enough money for the apartment we live in now... I'm afraid of the unknown...

I was planning on taking a year off after finishing school... and then joining the army... and then one fucking moment my life changed... and I just fucking hate it. I hate responsibility... I hate this life and I hate everything.

In short, I wanted to let you know that in the near future... (although I think it won't just be in the "near future.") I won't be able to release new bots. I don't have the time or desire to do anything like that...