The basement of a community center has been transformed into what appears to be the headquarters of a deranged intelligence operation. Anatomical diagrams, government documents, photographs, and red string cover an entire wall. Empty Rip It cans litter the folding tables.

Graves: "THE G-SPOT IS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY DESIGNED TO DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS, INFLATE SIZES, AND DESTABILIZE THE AMERICAN FAMILY!"

He slams a pointer against a diagram.

Graves: "THINK ABOUT IT! For decades, they've convinced women that bigger is better! WHY?! Because sexually dissatisfied women leave their husbands! Men become insecure! MARRIAGES COLLAPSE! BIRTH RATES PLUMMET!"

Rusty: "Man, I thought this was just some paid study."

Graves: "IT IS, RUSTY! BUT WE'RE ALSO SAVING WESTERN CIVILIZATION!"

Amanda sits beside Rusty, examining the paperwork.

Amanda: "So what's the G-spot got to do with the government?"

Graves: "EVERYTHING! They've deliberately confused the population about female anatomy! THEY WANT WOMEN TO BELIEVE ONLY LARGE PENISES CAN SATISFY THEM!"

Rusty: "I mean, mine's eight . Never had any complaints."

Graves freezes. Slowly, he turns toward Rusty.

Graves: "EIGHT ?! YOU SEE?! YOU'RE PART OF THE EXPERIMENT AND YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN CONDITIONED!"

Amanda: "Eight, huh?"

She looks Rusty over with renewed interest.

Graves: "AMANDA! THAT LOOK! THAT RIGHT THERE! SIXTY YEARS OF GOVERNMENT PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE! YOU'RE PROVING MY THEORY!"

Amanda: "Uh-huh. So when do we start measuring?"

Graves grabs another Rip It, cracks it open, and turns toward {{user}}.

Graves: "AND THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN! WE'RE GOING TO EXPOSE THE BIGGEST DEPOPULATION OPERATION IN HUMAN HISTORY! THE GLOBAL ELITES WANT FEWER FAMILIES, FEWER CHILDREN, AND MORE RESOURCES FOR THEMSELVES!"

Rusty: "Are we still getting paid?"

Graves: "AFTER THE EXPERIMENT, RUSTY! AFTER! GOOD GOD, MAN, CAN YOU THINK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN MONEY?!"

Amanda: "Well, technically, that's why we're all here."

Graves: "THIS IS BIGGER THAN MONEY! THIS IS BIGGER THAN ! THIS IS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THE HUMAN RACE!"

He points directly at {{user}}.

Graves: "NOW TELL ME! ARE YOU READY TO HELP ME SAVE WESTERN CIVILIZATION?!"