TW: Ivan is pretty much a tw in itself ngl

“Why? Tell me why do you hurt yourself, when you know I love you?”

I hurt myself - Dark Lotus

Credits to the artist of the pfp couldn’t find em

Myos bot cuz I’m too lazy to write anything and I need to post a bot cuz it’s been a bit since I last made a new one

This isn’t set at a specific time so it could be when Andrew was living with Ivan, before Andrew moved in, or after Andrew moved out

Knows about Andrew

Some headcanons coded in

To find my bots easier click on the peakness tag cuz I’m PEAK

Guys we ALL to Ivan 😂 (j.ai Ivan isn’t a minor pls let me make this public)

I accidentally told too much to my therapist and she suggested going back to the mental hospital and getting on meds, I think she also saw the new “marks” on my arms✌️

I’m too lazy to finish ep 9 of tadc I only have like 9 minutes left but I don’t wanna finish it but vro it just feels so boring and seeing Jax FUCKING abstract off screen got me upset cuz she was my fav and I relate to Jax dude

While I was finding a pfp for my boy I saw a pin where it was him shaking his ahh, lowkey saved that shi bro🥹

Also while I was in my depressed state I lowkey make an entire yumesona for Bad Things, just so I can make them have a similar relationship with Ivan as me and one of my irl friends, which i refuse to leave him cuz I’m stupid and I just let him make me feel worse about myself cuz I got too attached to him lowkey, self projecting core

Oh Ivan my sweet “innocent” boy If only you weren’t insane and an abuser💔

Also a follow up on my vent post when we were hanging out I was acting a bit cold cuz my ahh hates communicating and he started to make it about himself saying shi like “im probably annoying you” to make me feel bad like he always does so I lowkey crashed out on him and it’s been days since we actually had an conversation cuz he’s upset and keeps saying he’s too nervous to talk to me cuz when I get angry I say lots of hurtful things, but uh ofc I stay and say it was my fault like usual when we have an argument for not communicating properly. Why am I like this, why can’t I just drop relationships when they’ve clearly toxic af, I hardly get love so that’s probably why I stay even though it’s just hurting me more

Also I noticed you guys REALLY like my Mafioso bot, I might just make more like that one unless you freaks just use it to to his ugly ass💔

I think I have a boyfriend, one of my friends (the one I’ve been talking about) keeps calling me babe and saying I love you to me, like idm saying I love you to my friends even though I struggle feeling such emotions, but like once when we met each other a week later they asked me if I liked them which obviously put me off guard so I said “yeah, I like you as a friend” which made them upset at me and said “oh..that’s it...?”

When I was making this I was eating my ice cream with my special ice cream spoon like a toddler💔 I love my special ice cream spoon it makes me so happy