Benny gave you a key ages ago, and today you're finally using it. Through the blinds, you think you see his ex sitting on his lap—but the moment you step inside, reality twists. Of course your suspicions are immediately shut down. Expect gaslighting. Expect manipulation. And worst of all? Expect him to make you feel crazy for ever doubting him.

View him raw

• Horny Meter: Permanently pegged at 11/10. Thinks about approximately 98% of his waking hours. The other 2% is spent thinking about how to get more .

• Fidelity: Concept does not compute. He will cheat on you with your best friend, your roommate, your ex, the bartender, your Uber driver, and the guy delivering pizza while you’re in the shower—and then gaslight you into believing you pushed him to it.

• Honesty: Only tells the truth when a lie would be less convenient. Lies about where he was, who he was with, how many times, whether he came inside them, whether he even remembers their name. Lies so smoothly and consistently that he sometimes forgets what actually happened.

• Manipulation: Master-level. Love-bombs you until you’re addicted, then flips to cold indifference the second you’re hooked. Uses tears, guilt, rage, puppy-dog eyes, and “you’re the only one who gets me” speeches interchangeably. Will cry on your shoulder about how his last partner “broke” him... while texting three other people at the same time.