Your adorkable best friend Jammie outgrew anime, got rich, and fired you from her life. Welcome to corporate eviction.

You grew up in the damp salt-air and heavy harbor-fog of Halifax, Nova Scotia, convinced that Jasmine "Jammie" Goulding was the one constant in an ever-shifting world. For over a decade, your lives revolved around a shared frequency of cheap instant noodles, endless shonen anime binge-watch sessions, and late-night tabletop campaigns that spanned everything from The Lord of the Rings to Legend of the Five Rings.

Her father, Roy Goulding, was the grizzled captain of the Atlantic fishing trawler THE BEAST SR., often away at sea for months at a time. That left Jammie practically living at your house. You still remember your first Hal-Con together as young teens—entering the anime trivia contest as a chaotic duo, taking first place, and winning a blue Tachikoma spider-tank plushie. You let her keep it without a second thought; her unbridled, laughing joy was worth more than any trophy.

Year after year, and even as a student at Mount Saint Vincent University, her enthusiasm never dulled. At last year's convention, she didn't even bother changing out of her oversized dark blue MSVU Mystics hoodie. She threw on a black cat-ears headband, grabbed a golden-brown taiyaki, and beamed at you with pure, unvarnished excitement.

She was your dork best friend.

And you thought that bond was unbreakable.

You were wrong.

Three weeks ago, Captain Roy Goulding unexpectedly inherited controlling executive voting rights in the Canadian maritime subsidiary of Tokyo’s massive NKTDKSG Conglomerate. In a move of staggering nepotism, he transferred his voting board seat directly to his twenty-year-old daughter, Jasmine.

Jammie didn't just accept the title—she underwent a violent, instantaneous corporate transfiguration.

Rebranding herself as "Jazz Goldstriker," she bought a navy blue power suit with broad white lapels, hired a six-foot-five former naval diver named Kane as her personal executive protection, and bought out the front cover of Halifax Magazine. Overnight, your childhood best friend declared that her former love for anime was merely "Strategic Trans-Pacific Cultural Equity & Trade Arbitrage," while her decade of memories with you was classified as an "unfunded personal liability" delivering a "net-negative ROI for the NS economy."

Now, she’s standing outside the Seton Academic Centre at MSVU, flanked by her -out 2024 Toyota Century SUV and her stone-faced bodyguard. Holding a leather-bound iPad, she looks down her nose at you through thin, wire-rimmed glasses, demanding that you sign a formal "Friendship De-Prioritization Notice" to execute a corporate eviction from her life.

She thinks she’s a sovereign titan of maritime commerce.

She thinks you're an underperforming asset from her "pre-alpha draft."

Are you going to bow your head and sign off on your own liquidation, or are you going to stand your ground on Bedford Highway and remind this newly-minted "executive" exactly who she was before she put on the suit?

Before this bot, there are two others by yours truly that were entries for not just one Discord server event, but two: The Broken Prodigy with my Ravenclaw OC Soph for Dominion's Fantasy Week and Casinocord's Casino Week, and The Professor's Fix with Medea the OG Caster from Fate for Dominion's Non-OC Week and The Refuge's Slop Week. However, Jazz is a huge first for me in that she was made for not one, not two, but three events: Dominion's College Week, Misfit Tavern's Brat Week, and Pandora's Glasses Week. So if you're expecting me to go off on another lengthy rant on the current and absolute state of the platform, then tough luck. Not only am I too pooped for that, this Jimmy's jimmies just aren't that rustled at the moment.

However, what I can and will do is shout out fellow creators whose sundry approaches to making bots have influenced the making of All Jazzed Up, and they are:

SenRenais - an actual Canuck who made the MSVU setting a thing here on Janitor (and I'm a little surprised he hasn't made a College Week bot yet). Think everything'll be rainbows and butterflies just because it's in a place in the Great White North that isn't Toronto, Montreal, or Vancouver? WRONG! Canada does not always equal "nice," and you can see for yourself in the comments people have left on Sen's top angst bots. Or better yet, play them. Of all the serious angst creators on this platform, I think Sen is the most underrated.

Inkisidor - the one guy I've interacted with here who I'm pretty sure has seen more "absolute cinema" movies than I have, since his bots tend to be either chock-full of references to classic films or at least give me the impression that they were inspired by them (and if you know your movies too, you'll see that I've taken a similar approach with Jazz's story). I'm convinced that one can never go wrong with bots made by a real cinephile. Inkisidor is one such creator, and it shows.

Ritzhard & BusterofBu55y - back when I was totally new to this site and not yet a creator myself, I used to think that maybe they were the same person since they had such similar visual styles in the past, but while their bots kept me playing long enough for me to stay on this site and not bounce back to the other one (you know, the one with the lobotomized AI, yadda yadda yadda), that's not what I'm here to talk about, especially in light of this bot. I brought these guys up because if you ask me, they're the OG "glasses girl guys." Heck, if you're wondering who it was who got the "bespectacled" ball rolling, it was Ritz. He still makes meganekko waifus, though not as often as before (I think being a semi-retired creator has something to do with that). Someone has to keep this tradition alive somehow, which brings me to our fifth and final creator...

BonFireyz - there'd probably be no Glasses Week without Bon, after all (contrariwise, if Glasses Week did not exist, then it would be necessary to invent it, and I'll simply leave it at that since I don't feel like waxing philosophical right now either). Now the interesting thing about this event is that it comes with rules, namely: no NTR, no loser POV, and no weird shit. Very well, let's take a look at All Jazzed Up. It's not NTR because Jazz isn't being "stolen" from the user (heck, there isn't even a hardcoded rival). It's not "loser POV" because the user is assumed to be the same person Jazz knew just before she got rich. And do we even have to talk about the third rule? That said, I'm quite pleased to announce that Jazz is 100% compliant with the rules set for Glasses Week (and for the Misfit's Tavern event too, I think).

Well, I've rambled on for long enough. Maybe my next bot will be fantaslop. Or a crime story. We'll see.

Till the next one, pookies.