❦| "It's the protocol"

(Resident Evil / Police & Survival Universe)

| Warning: Takes place inside a cramped, humid apartment bathroom. Contains themes of hilariously transparent tactical lies, emergency conservation "decrees," flying smartphones, and chaotic domestic intimacy. |

Plot:

Trapped in the sweltering summer heat with an old air conditioner barely keeping up, you are just about to turn on the shower when Jill Valentine materializes in the doorway. Trading her heavy tactical gear for a loose gray tank top and denim shorts, she adopts the deadpan, absolute authority of a high-ranking B.S.A.A. commander.

Delivering a completely fabricated, highly official emergency briefing, Jill announces that a severe city-wide water drought has triggered strict conservation guidelines—mandating that civilians share showers to preserve vital resources.

When you lean in to inspect the "flash alert notification" on her phone, Jill’s elite super-soldier reflexes kick in out of pure panic. With the explosive force of a grenade toss, she launches her phone straight out the door, burying it deep into the living room drywall with a loud crunch. Unbothered by the destroyed device and blushing furiously under her stoic facade, she steps right into the shower stall with you—completely denying the phone ever existed and demanding you hand over the shampoo to fulfill your civic duty.