So my depression has been getting bad recently and to cope with that i've been using porn(ik terrible coping mechanism) but its genuinely the only method thats worked, I used to have a therapist but I don't believe that therapy actually works bc all that happens is I open up to them about what im dealing with and then they 'accidentally' let it slip to my parents so I don't do therapy anymore but also the coping methods theyd give me were absolute ass bc what do you mean that if I feel like I need to lowkirkenuinly saw my arm off with a box cutter that all i have to do is take a deep breath or go outside🫩✌️ it NEVER worked it always either go outside for a walk or that stupid name one rhing you can see, two things you can hear, three things you can taste, four things you can smell, and five things you can touch💔💔💔💔

So I then started watching porn or recording my own bc i somehow developed a kink for watching myself idk where I got it but I randomly found out I like watching myself but it like calms me down and idk if thats weird and probably is

also i think i have an addiction to this site like genuinely I can't do anything else but use this site without feeling irritated and sick to my stomach that probably means I should quit the app but im not going too bc its just too peak

AND ALSO its effecting my school life, I have 26 missing assignments and I can't bring myself to do then even if my mom takes away my phone and ipad so idk what to do there either but i do online school so i usually attend all my classes but i just dont do the work like i learn the material but im not doing my work because i have no motivation to do it and my parents really aren't helping with it bc i already have like a football team of mental illnesses, adhd, autism, depression, anxiety, odd, hypersexual, so genuinely the 2020 kid basic line up but Im actually diagnosed with all of it

so gang what do i do🥹✌️

Btw do yall like my cat he's in the pfp and he's a fatass(he ate half a hotdog when I left it on the counter to go pee)