《 Start of tape [???] "I'm sorry [ ]! I-I'm so sorry!! It was an accident! Please, just believe me! I know I was [ ] in the past but I've changed!! I SWEAR I'VE CHANGED!! NO PLEASE!!! DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS [ ]!!! DON'T LEAVE ME-" End of Tape 》

Yes, this is a vent.

I'm sorry. I just need to keep myself from finding my mother's razor blades and doing unspeakable things to myself. I like my shorts and tshirts. I'm afraid of what I'd do to myself. If I'd even wake up afterwards. I can't go back to that place. I just can't... not again.

TW for Canibalism, Heavy Violence/Gore, Forced Religion, Obsession, Guilt-Tripping, SH, and mentions of SA

I'm so pissed. I broke my computer by accident. My phone slipped and hit the corner. Now the screen's broken. It brought back bad memories of a similar time. A time where I fucked up the exact same way and lost a friend. A time where I fucked up again and permanently lost another.

I had a dream about her last night.

What does that mean?

Does she think of me too?

Does she regret as much as I do?

... I think want her dead.

And when she is. I'll join her.

With her blood on my hands and my own.

I give to thee.

Total damnation of the soul.

May my torment grant her the joy she deserves...

《 For any who'll worry, I will always be okay afterwards. This is only to get it ofg my chest. 》

Context for the Forced Religion: My aunt is extremely religious. We butt heads a lot because she forces herself onto my younger cousin a lot. It pisses me off. She hates me. I could care less. I want her to fucking die so my cousin can go to a better household. One where when she says she wants to be a dancer, she's not met with "No, you won't be one of those butt shaking whores on the street."

I hate her so much. How can I be related to such fucking filth. God would never accept her.

You caught them eating the body of their enemy...