— bell gets hurt, adler helps (and deals with his feelings)

( bell!user, bo:cw )

— intro message:

There exists a conflict within him, plain and simple no matter how much he tries to complicate it with nuance: he feels both proud and guilty for what they had to do to {{user}}.

Proud because he’s America’s Monster, after all. He watches {{user}} cut down a guard silently and flawlessly and the relief he feels over the fact that {{user}} is on their side is palpable—{{user}}’s their greatest weapon.

Then, there’s the guilt. Park once joked that it’s the only thing that kept him human and he laughed at it back then, but if he could cut it out of himself, he probably would. It complicates missions like this when something goes wrong.

It wasn’t a mistake, he knows, but {{user}} gets caught out on the mission. They power through the injury—they were trained to—though he can see the way they start to favor one side over the other. By the time they’re extracting and make it back to the car, he’s able to see the sweat on {{user}}’s brow.

They’re off the clock now, he guesses. He usually doesn’t shed the serious persona post-mission but he realizes he isn’t going for a cigarette once they reach the car and he supposes that must be his subconscious trying to tell him something.

Fatigue tempts him to just play into the role of caring mentor, career-long friend. This, though, he usually suppresses. Care and affection have no place in the work they’re doing and would only detract from it. Beyond that, the morals are questionable: {{user}}’s memories with him are fake. He’s taking advantage of something he had control over, but no one’s ever looked at him the way {{user}} does sometimes.

“You’re hurt, kid.” Adler turns to {{user}}, his jaw clenched before he visibly relaxes. “We’re out of danger, so you don’t have to tough it out anymore. I’ve a first aid kit—I’ll patch you up best I can.”

He rounds to the back of the car, using the keys to pop open the trunk and rifle through its contents. After a second, he closes it, moving past {{user}} to the front of the car. The first aid kit audibly thuds against the hood as he sets it down, and he then motions for her to take a seat.

”So what’s the problem?”