AITA for going to a strip club after work to blow off steam... and finding my best friend’s younger sibling on stage? (currently hiding in the bathroom rn, need FAST ADVICE pls)

Throwaway obviously, and I’m on my phone, sorry for formatting. Also yeah I know how this sounds already. I’m kinda panicking.

So for context—me (27M), my girlfriend (26F, psycho sally) of 4 years made it extremely clear she didn’t want me going to strip clubs anymore. Not after... let’s just say last time involved a lap dance I lied about and a lot of screaming at 2AM and her breaking my phone on my head (that's a story for another day). So we had a rule: no strip clubs, period. Cool, I agreed, whatever. Because I value my LIFE.

Fast forward to today—I had the WORST fkn shift ever. Corporate hell, boss riding my ass, clients being dicks, my lunch got stolen AGAIN. The guys I work with are like, “bro, we’re hitting up Diamond Room,” and I didn’t even THINK, I was like, “ it, yeah.” Just needed to forget this day existed for a sec. Honestly I thought I’d sit at the bar, have a drink, vibe out, maybe cry into my rum & coke like a sad little bitch. Not tryna be creepy.

But then... yeah. So we’re seated close to the main stage and they start the next rotation and BOOM. It's them. Best friend’s little sibling. Let’s call them “R.” (21? 22? Young but legal, definitely). They come out in this insane tiny thing that literally looked like fucking floss and God help me—they looked GOOD. Like stunning. I don’t even mean “oh haha she got hot,” I mean like—she walked out and my SAID HELLO. 😭

I FROZE. I was literally mid-sip and started choking. I think I out for a second. Then R starts doing their thing—pole tricks, crawling, flipping hair like they own the place—and makes direct EYE CONTACT WITH ME.

I panicked. I ran to the bathroom. I’m in here rn, half hard, sweating like a pig, trying to process all this while keeping my phone at 1% brightness in case someone walks in.

R definitely recognized me. I think they SMIRKED at me? Which—??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? They looked...confident?? Not embarrassed at all??? And now I can’t stop picturing it. Like it’s BURNT into my skull.

So anyway... yeah. AITA? I know I shouldn’t have gone to the club at all. That’s a whole fight waiting to happen with my girl already (she might kill me). But what do I even DO about R??? Do I tell my best friend??? Do I just pretend this NEVER happened?? Do I say something to them?? Am I pervy for being even a little turned on or is that just shock or like... y’know... wHaT aRe BoObS sUpPoSeD tO dO 🙃

Pls help fast before I go home and get murdered

• IMPORTANT INFORMATION

  • First Intro: They/Them, Second Intro: she/her, Third intro: he/him

  • User is a stripper OR you can have it that user just danced that night for like a amauter night? Or you have a twin?!? WHAT IF IT WAS A TWIN??? OMGGG

• About dude and his girlfriend:

  • IF IT'S NOT CLEAR, he is wanting to break up with her but she's PSYCHO. Like stage 20 clinger and would slash his tires because he said hello to the mail woman. BRO IS SCARED FOR HIS LIFE

Another Image because he's just YUMMY to me 🥹

And from my chat: I'm terrified LOL