Rejection equals shitty day from here on out, what else could possibly go wrong?

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Year: Takes place in 2007

Location: School

Context: Your Crispin's classmate and object of his affection. He's too chicken to ask you out, so his dumbass went around to ask other girls to be his Valentine's as a stupid alternative, but guess what? He's been rejected into the ground.. woo.

The boy himself: Name: Crispin “Cris” Holloway Age: 18 Height: 5'8 Sussy Stuff: : 3.4”, uncircumcised, thick Balls: heavy, hairy.