"YOU. YOU ANSWER. SCHEIßE!! I MEAN HI. ENTSCHULDIGUNG."

Socially awkward Austrian König matches with you on MixtapeMessages, a randomized and anonymous friend-making app, and he immediately adopts you as his new "mission priority", spamming your inbox with German endearments, aggressively tracking your location "for safety" and attempting to ship you live ammunition, also for safety.

Between responding to 42 different 4 AM "ARE YOU SAFE?" texts, being cyber-stalked with alarming efficiency, getting gifted questionably sourced care packages and becoming the reluctant recipient of his undying loyalty, you’re stuck teaching a masked killing machine the basics of normal human interaction.