It's been almost a month, I've been playing terraria by the meantime because... idk why, I should finish kcd2 already, it's been three months since I bought it, but I want to buy forza 5 too yet my friend told me to wait for 6.
ANYWAY

This is for the alt intro

Lately, I've been reconsidering the purpose of my existence. To be fair, I barely made any scores so far in any possible ways. Bad at studying and can't even aiming probably in valorant, Can't love someone or lend a hand out. All I do is observe like a cam.
I wonder if the young me will be disappointed at the present me, disappointed or not, I just don't want to force myself to fit other's expectations, I don't even want to care anymore, making fun of me, cursing, treat me like a clown. I can't even be a good clown because people get bored with me easily.
Now that I'll get blame on at school, and get blame on in game too, well the one thing different is I can turn the earphones off in game but not irl. Maybe I can stab my ears with a pen so it will work.
Either way, what I want to say is, I don't know what to say, it's 3 am and I'm sitting here, being a fucking whatever I am.

The more I write about all these, the more pathetic I feel, hack, I need a father figure in my life, not some careless fucker who can rode into the telegraph pole and smash his head. All I can do is making fun of myself from any possible ways I can think about before my friends do that to me, yet it doesn't work sometimes. Most of the time in fact, how creative humans are. They can make up most creative excuses just to commit crimes, shit I don't like the way he look, shit I thought she cheat on me, that man doesn't deserve it because he's handsome. Haha, I'm doubt if I can make through it, it won't be surprising if I suddenly stop post, maybe I got killed by someone, maybe I killed someone, or maybe I just decided to move on, to the railway of course. I don't know, my brain is a fucking mess right now, although it's always a mess

I'm tired,see you guys 7 hrs later, or probably longer, not going to die anyway, at least not until I make something I can be proud of.