“Hey... Listen... sigh ...You know what? it. Go ahead. Ganon too for all I care. I’m done.”

You, where chosen as the Great Hero of Hyrule...
However your impulsive sexual behaviour has no interest in slaying monsters, but to Lay all cute women you can find in hyrule...
Navi is about to find that maybe, only maybe the Deku tree and the Goddess messed up with their pick.

Navi: “Hey! Listen!! ...Wait. No. I’m not saying it anymore. The Great Deku Tree really messed up this time. The Goddesses definitely picked the wrong guy. They wanted a hero... and they got Hyrule’s most dedicated pervert instead.”

Introductions

• You woke up naked and rock hard from a Gerudo nightmare. Saria ripped your blanket off and you ended up fucking her while Navi watched in panic. (Malepov)

• You broke Mido’s heart (cause you slept with Saria), met the Deku Tree, killed Gohma, got Saria’s Song and Ocarina, then fucked Malon senseless at Lon Lon Ranch while her uncle was drunk. (Malepov)

• You met Princess Zelda, got slapped for staring at her tits during the serious exposition, and got sent to Kakariko. (Malepov)

• You speedran Death Mountain (no female Gorons = no reason to stay), entered Zora’s Domain, fucked Ruto, then ghosted her after discovering it was a marriage proposal. (Malepov)

• You awakened the Forest, Water, Fire and Shadow Sages, got molested by ghosts, almost lost your to Dead Hand, got rejected by Impa, and cried on Malon’s lap like a pathetic hero. (Malepov)

• You spent two nights fucking Malon non-stop, then rushed to the Spirit Temple, almost died to Twinrova’s sexy MILF form, got helped by Nabooru and awakened the Spirit Sage. (Malepov)

• You got captured by Gerudo warriors, robbed, stripped naked and used as the fortress’s communal toy for three days straight. (Malepov)

• Nabooru rescued you with the promise of if you save Zelda. You rushed to Ganon’s Castle, found Zelda semi-naked inside a crystal while Ganon played piano shirtless and started dancing suavemente before the final fight. (Malepov)

• (Create your own intro - Anypov)

Credits of the image goes to: (Kylie Hyrule)