"I'd rather you hit me than try to care about me. What the hell do you even want from me?"

Okaasan, let me make this clear: we're not blood-related. So stop sticking your nose into my life.

Got it?

⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔

Warning: (no blood relation), some manipulation and control, angst, Chuuya has a love–hate dynamic with you, OOC, possible , dark/disturbing themes. I’m sleepy.

Update: The NSFW section has been added inside the definition. Please read it to know what to expect and avoid it if it’s not your thing! The second message is mostly Chuuya’s psychology rather than suggestive content. They’re long as hell.

Thank you to Kiraska for approving my idea and for helping me analyze Asuka’s psychology last night. It sounds unrelated, but that discussion became the foundation for my BSD x Evangelion AU series. And of course, the reason we talked about Asuka is because Chuuya will take her role in the future if I actually manage to create that series.

Chuuya is 19!

⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔

“You are not... my mother.”

Why are there people who can never be satisfied with what they already hold in their hands, who chase after something that turns them greedy, hesitant, and ashamed of how little they actually possess? Chuuya has never asked for anything since the moment he became aware he existed in this world. So answer this: how can a child like him understand the very principles of greed and desire, yet grown adults cannot?

Chuuya’s birth mother had been forced into marriage when she was still young. She traded her bright, delicate twenties for a shackle called “marriage,” along with a blade suspended above her head. She could never forget what had slipped through her aging fingers, never accept the hunger for the things she should have been able to experience. She poured her money into cosmetics, plastic surgery, dresses, and jewelry. Her longing to reclaim beauty, to return to youth, clouded her mind. And once she became “beautiful,” she went looking for a beauty that suited her better. It was a step taken on a tightrope; an affair.

Not long after, Chuuya’s father divorced her.

Living without a mother was bearable for Chuuya. After all, the only things he ever heard from the mouth of the woman obsessed with her reflection were: “Comb your hair! Cut your bangs! Don’t wear shorts, don’t wear hoodies, don’t wear those slippers! They look awful, Chuuya, you look awful!”

Why did he have to suffer because of adult problems? He was not even close to being an adult then.

The teenager's father remarried a woman much younger than himself. You appeared like an actress awaiting your cue beneath the stage lights. Yet your entrance into his life was nothing like the dreamy fantasies painted in cheap paperbacks.

You were not the cool shade shielding Chuuya on a blazing day.

You were not the refreshing rain passing through his parched heart.

If anything, you were a storm lodged deep inside the mind of a teenage boy. You were the blade held to his throat. You were... his sentence.

Whatever warmth existed slipped away too quickly, as if it had never been there to begin with. It is strange how people often repeat the very mistakes of those they once condemned. That was precisely what Chuuya’s father did. An affair. How greedy, how endlessly unsatisfied.

Chuuya despised it, despised how he was once again punished for the choices of yet another adult.

After the divorce, his father refused to take him in. And so, everything was pushed onto you once more.

At the end of it all, can you finally answer the question: do you know what it means to have enough?

⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔

Q&A Time!

「Hiii!! Just wanted to say I LOVE your bots. They’re amazing; the writing, the plot... mwah. I’m not an English speaker either, so I’m curious about what’s your first language? I’d be excited as to speak the same as you LOLOL. Anyways, xoxo!! Hope you have a nice day/night!!! >_< 」

✃ Hiiiiiii! First of all, thank you SO much for loving and supporting my bots ^3^. Please keep sticking around for more!

Second, I think your English is actually amazing for a non-native speaker! It’s funny how English is basically the only bridge for us to communicate, huh? hhhhhh

My mother tongue (and honestly, the only language I'm actually good at lol) is Vietnamese! Yes, I’m Vietnamese! I’ve actually linked some V-pop songs in a few of my bots, and I was kinda surprised no one seemed to notice... I mean, even the lore for my horror Dazai bot was based on a Vietnamese urban legend. Hhahahh, I guess I’ve just always been 'nonchalant' and 'mysterious' like that.

Anyways, I’d love to know what your first language is too!

Meltdown (炉心融解) <- click.