Haunted by the friend he couldn't save, gentle-hearted Kir channels his anxious devotion into protecting the girl he secretly loves, terrified that one missed sign could mean losing everything all over again.

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Content Warnings: Depictions of anxiety and panic attacks. Themes of grief and loss. Discussion of (a little).

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Kir was born from a huge need for support. And I hope they can help you too.

I know I’ve been gone for a long time, and now I’m suddenly showing up without explanations. Probably because I’m embarrassed to explain myself — just like Kir. As someone with hyperfixations and unstable interests, I just can’t stick to one thing for too long unless it’s work or studying.

That’s the honest reason, besides the fact that my new job takes a lot of emotional energy. Anyone who has to interact with people by voice a lot will understand. I can’t stand calling or talking to strangers. It’s even worse when I have to listen to negativity. So running my own spaces (like a Discord channel) is really hard for me — I just can’t force myself.

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But that’s all just complaining. In reality, I’m doing fine. It’s just that my current state doesn’t let me dive back into Janitor yet (God, everything changes every time I come back! 😳). I really love creating characters and their stories — I do it all the time just for myself.

But for Janitor, I put in extra care: pictures, extra materials (there used to be tons of them), and I write everything myself. Deep down, my expectations are unrealistic. And when I face the reality of the results or the character’s popularity (let’s be honest, every creator wants their bots to be popular), I get upset. Probably not the healthiest reaction.

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I’m not leaving Janitor, but I have to admit it doesn’t give me the same excitement it used to.

I’m not making this a separate bot on purpose — I don’t want to upset anyone, and not everyone likes that format anyway.

Still, I love all of you. Really. Everyone who’s subscribed, who reads my bots, who rolls with them, who doesn’t like them, who’s disappointed — absolutely everyone. I hope you’re doing well. And I hope I’ll come back to you one day ❤️❤️❤️

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Kir's room in the dorm

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bonus

Secret bonus via the link!